Teen Poetry #4 |
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Eternal Light (my most emotional poem ever) |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair ![]() |
Please dont shed tears over this. Its about coping with death, my "gf"'s dad died today...It took me about an hour to write because I broke down so many times...Enjoy. ‘Eternal Light’ There will always be that light, Tiny in it’s form. Even when shadows cover you, From a teary storm. When the night leaps into your day, A twinkle will sustain. Whether in your eye or amongst the sky, That beam will remain. This light may be a sign or feeling, Just lingering inside. Following you about your journey, Never willing to hide. It could be a smile from heaven skies, Or maybe just me. Either way you’ll know it’s for you, Of this I guarantee. Whenever your in search of some advice, Simply turn to the light. It will direct you the proper way, And shimmer so bright. Wish upon this light that guides you, It wont ever let you down, I would never let that happen to you, As long as I'm around, When you close your eyes at night, Picture this bright gleam. An image of me shall appear for you, In your splendid dream. When staring at this image of a sparkle, Think of me tonight. Imagine me comforting you under the stars, Holding you so tight. Never to let you go or fade away, As like this light. Forever and a day I’ll be there for you, Never to leave your sight. Just wish for that light to come to you, When your in need. I’ll come to your rescue will all my might, Of this I plead. Jeremy D. Raulinaitis 02/26/01 When life dims to a perish, my life will become a quote in itself... |
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© Copyright 2001 Jeremy Daniel Raulinaitis - All Rights Reserved | |||
fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Jeremy: This was astounding! I especially loved the elegant combination of internal rhyme and interlocking rhyme in this portion: " When the night leaps into your day, A twinkle will sustain. Whether in your eye or amongst the sky, That beam will remain. " The images of this poem are quite magical. I congradulate you on a job quite well done. ![]() |
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Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
It's fantastic man! It's going into the library! Thanks "Some men see things as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK |
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Allysa![]() ![]()
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
Oh my god, Jd. This is really a great poem, but it's so sad. I had a friend die recently, or not so recently, September, haven't gotten over it. So sad. If you want to talk, I'm here, and I understand. ~Hugs JD really tightly~ I love you man. I wish people would stop telling me that I can do anything I want to. I never thought that I couldn't. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Oh Jer...I am so sorry for you and your gf. Indeed this is quite an emotional piece, the inspiration of it is very unfortunate though. A truely inspirational piece for anyone coping with a death. Thankyou for such a wonderful read. ~AF~ "Love makes us poets and the approach of death should make us philosophers." ~ George Santayana |
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Acies![]()
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Im sorry to see that you're going thru such an emotional time right now. It's never easy to go thru a loss of someone we know. Hang in there JD. Be strong "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Jeremy, this is an awesome piece. I'm sorry for you and your gf's loss,but a really great piece of work came out of it. It's a sad yet amazing poem,really nice. Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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Greeneyes617 Member
since 2000-11-22
Posts 329Arkansas |
That was an amazing poem. Great job. Thanks for posting this. |
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DreadedLiver Member
since 2001-01-23
Posts 56Alter, Ego |
thanks to all, shes taking it quite well, the 12 roses cheered her up ![]() BUMP |
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DancinQueen![]()
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
beautiful as usual Jerm ![]() *dq ¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤ |
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MysticalAngel7 Junior Member
since 2001-02-24
Posts 20 |
Oh this was such a beautiful poem. Sadly said that I wish the inspiration came from something less painful. But, in all hang in there and time will heal all wounds. Very magical piece though. Always- Carissa Neither the angels in heaven above,Nor the demons down under the sea,can ever dissever my soul from the soul, of the beautiful Annabel Lee -E.A.Poe |
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Dopey Dope![]()
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Woah jer.......that's sad man. Very sad...My condolences to her. Well done on the poem though. My prayers go out to the family and friends. ![]() I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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DreadedLiver Member
since 2001-01-23
Posts 56Alter, Ego |
thanks a lot everyone BUMP "zzzIzzzAMzzzJEREMYDRAULzzz" |
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jytree Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 336omaha ark usa |
you are the man you rock that was good and I hope that your gf will be ok soon Lead me not into temptation, I can find the way there mysel |
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Child of the Stars![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Sorry it took so long Jer...kinda been in a daze l8ly...This was an incredibly touching poem, and shows so much pain, but so much hope...I wish you the best of luck...Smile. ![]() ~Carly "Nature is not only all that is visible to the eye--it also includes the inner pictures of the soul." ~Edvard Munch |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I'm sorry for her loss and I hope she is doing alright with it. This poem is very well done, certainly library worthy. Jeremy, excellent job on it! Please visit my webpage: http://lakewalker.homestead.com/index.html |
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Chel Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511Baltimore, MD, USA |
Hey there Jeremy, I don't really know what to say. You seem to be a great friend and boyfriend all in one. This was a poem that I can relate to. A friend of mine lost her father as well, and though I didn't know him all that well, I felt as though I knew how you felt when you wrote this poem. I know that someone dear is thinking of you both. I hope you continue to write and keep up the great work. Chel "True friends stab you in the front" "Never say 'I Love You' unless you mean it" |
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niceguy Member
since 2000-11-13
Posts 113Sapello, NM, USA |
Jeremy, This poem was awesome...it really spoke to me. I am sorry to hear about your g/f's Dad. I'll be praying for her, her family and you. Hang in there man...and keep up the good work. "Don't take love for granted...once it's gone, it hurts." |
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DreadedLiver Member
since 2001-01-23
Posts 56Alter, Ego |
wow wow wow thanks to everyone for the replies... things are getting better except for the funeral is tomorow ![]() "zzzIzzzAMzzzJEREMYDRAULzzz" |
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*ChrisLover* Junior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 46erie, colo |
jeremy... i am sorry!I wish you guys the best!just know hes left for a reason.. and a good one that is!! ok.. i am talking ot you right now , so im gonna let you go on here.. but great post.. i felt the passion!! hope you guys do ok... love janette Everything happens for a reason.. sometimes it's bad, but sometime it's good!! just remeber there's people out here who care! |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
Wow, this is great really.....I hope things get better for all of you. Good job tho... ![]() Bel |
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