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Teen Poetry #4
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Funny how i found you again
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Funny how i found you again |
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SwEeTdEeLiTe19 New Member
since 2001-02-26
Posts 3ca |
i wanted my first entry to really mean something and this does...it might not flow as nicely as i hopes but its words straight from my heart no thiking envoloved just feelings expressed... when we first met we were nothing but friends i never looked at you as more than a man we went out alot but this time was not like every other we went to the movies and we sat close just close enough to touch then as the movie ended just before the lights went bright you leaned over with your eyes insight with one soft hand you pressed my cheek as you leaned in and kissed me oh so sweet that one kiss pushed me away for i was a little girl dont you see how was i to know you wanted to love me some years past im older now you finally came back its funny how i found you again we kissed once more and yes it was ohh so sweet but this time i know your love and i am not afraid for i see you now not just as a man but a man who is in love with me *dedicated to my love jesse diaz who is my true friend and soul mate...im glad you came back!* *a friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out* |
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| © Copyright 2001 Kristina Joyce Marie Gomez - All Rights Reserved | |||
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Kristina: Impressive poem. I liked its storytelling format. Welcome to the forums. This poem was quite beautiful, and flowed quite well. "If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh" -- Magus |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Storytelling format is DIFFICULT... I'm trying to do a series lately that tells a story, but it's very tough to pull off. My hat goes off to you for keeping my eyes from wandering. You had an involving narrative tone in the poem that kept me locked in place. A rhyme here or there helped a lot. Scattering rhymes is a neat way of making the poem have more of a casual attitude. Best of luck with your relationship, and welcome to Passions. I look forward to seeing and reading more from you. -Allan |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Welcome to Passions SwEeTdEeLiTe19! We are very happy you have decided to join our community of poetry friendship and look forward to having you share your efforts with us. This was a tender and expressive first post. A beautiful story of renewal and love. I hope to read more of your poetry and your responses to our wonderful family of poets! (check your e-mail for a special message) Best wishes, /Kit |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!! I'm glad to see that you've decided to join our family of friends here in Passions for poetry. Hope you enjoy PIP s much as we all do  You've definitely narrated and shown your feelings in this poem real well. You are really gonna fit right in  thanks for the beautiful read keep sharng "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
aww how perfect can this love story get?? IF only all of our love stories were this perfect Great job on the poem, so what if it didnt flow just perfect in some places, its all from the heart and thats all that matters Oh and  Welcome to Passions!! <3 always* DQ ¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤ |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
Sounds like your real happy. Poem was great, just try and keep a steady rhythm, altho the poem flowed very well and I loved it a lot! Welcome! JR When life dims to a perish, my life will become a quote in itself... |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
 Welcome to Passions I think that your poem is very good I hope you enjoy it here in the forums and stick around for a while."Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.therainforestsite.com |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I really liked this one. I usually don't see this kind of format here. I liked it a lot. The story is very cute. Glad to see you're happy!!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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