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Teen Poetry #4
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Zsolt
New Member
since 2001-02-16
Posts 7
Belgium

0 posted 2001-02-26 03:36 AM


Where were you, dad, all my life,
When I needed support to carry on,
Do you know that I'm still alive,
Are you aware of what I've become?

Remember the time you were still around,
How we would laugh every day,
I think I could have made you proud,
If you hadn't left us this way.

You've promised us life would be fun,
No grief, no sadness, no tears,
But look now how it made you run,
From your own troubles and fears.

How would life be like if you stayed instead,
And did the best, that you could do,
I know now, you were lying, dad,
When you said that dreams come true.

Sometimes I feel I'd like to shout,
But tell me, what else could I do,
For I'm starting to find out,
That I'm slowly turning into you.

I just stand in front of the mirror,
And I see you standing there,
Breaking your reflection would be breaking my own,
So I can't help but stare.

Where were you, when I was feeling sad,
And I couldn't find you as I looked around,
I remember, you were lying dead,
Buried in the ground.


© Copyright 2001 Varszegi Zsolt - All Rights Reserved
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
1 posted 2001-02-26 07:07 AM


You've touched my heart with these words Zsolt ... this evoked such a sadness, very well expressed.

Best wishes and hugs,
/Kit

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
2 posted 2001-02-26 07:44 PM


you've shown your pain really well with your poem. You expressed it very clearly. By the way,.......dreams do come true

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-02-27 10:57 AM


This was extremely sad. It touched me.....
I'm sorry about your dad. I really thought you express your pain well and I wish you luck with the future.



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Zsolt
New Member
since 2001-02-16
Posts 7
Belgium
4 posted 2001-02-27 11:26 AM


Well thanks for the positive criticism and the support, even though I kind of regret posting this poem on the forum.
To "acire": You may be right, mate, but still, you sometimes get the feeling some things will never come true.
Anyway, at least I got this off my chest (sort of).

HiddenSparklez
Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 190
British Columbia, Canada
5 posted 2001-02-27 06:13 PM


Wow... this poem really touched my heart because I've been in your position where my father left me and my family. It's a strong feeling you'll never forget... Just keep holding on to the people who DO love you and who are there for you. This is goin' in my library.

"You do what you do, you say what you say, you try to be everything to everyone... come on now, do that stupid dance for me" -Everclear

Zsolt
New Member
since 2001-02-16
Posts 7
Belgium
6 posted 2001-03-01 02:19 PM


To HiddenSparklez: I'm glad the poem touched you. But he actually DID love us, that's why it hurts so much. It's all in the final verse. I know it seems like I blame him for something, but it's just a feeling I have. Just wanted to clear things up, because he was a great man.
anonymousfemale
Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797
Limbo
7 posted 2001-12-11 09:20 AM


This brought such sadness to my heart, Zsolt. I'm glad I went looking for this because you are such a touching writer.
I'm sorry to hear that your father died. If you say he was a great man, I believe you.

Thank you for sharing this with us. It is truly a beautiful piece.

~AF~

"Always keep focus on your dreams because most often than not that's all you'll have." - Javier

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