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Teen Poetry #4
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A brand new low
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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A brand new low |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada 
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Sniff, sniff. sorry for all the sad poems lately Grasping at straws, so many excuses you won't listen to them anymore, does it mean anything that I love you? Oh you have to say yes....please don't leave me alone, I want to feel your arms around me, rocking me back forth the gentle heart I thought you had has disappeared "i wannna know, have i gone to far, i've sunk to a brand new low....." the chorus of the sung rings through my mind the tears pour down my face, my eyes swollen,gritty,and red burn in sullen sockets, pale cheeks drain away from life My limp body, feels old, but it is so young every move takes so much energy, i can't move without the hurt burning holes in my flesh I need you to understand me, but u can't I want so much that u can't give me, I want you to understand but its to complicated my emotions are all tangled and I don't want you to tear them apart You dont understand me please face it I love you with everything I have inside me you are my true and only love how can u help me if u don't understand me? Regina |
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| © Copyright 2001 Regina Levy - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I've already had this conversation with you before, so I'll just critique the poem. It was lovely. You communicated your pain beautifully. Thanks for the read. -Allan |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Ina: I like this one. It seems to express itself quite well. I truly hope that you feel better soon, and that your relationship gets better. As far as critiques are concerned, I guess I'd say you might like to try rhymes in this one sometime... |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Nicely done......quite sad though. You know Brad loves you.....I already told you what to do about this. Good luck!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
As I am sure that you have enough adivce I am not even going to go there so I hope the situation improves for you Regina. Smile.  ~AF~ "Love makes us poets and the approach of death should make us philosophers." ~ George Santayana |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
sad to see you hurting like this your poem shows how much you hurt i do hope things get better for ya thanks for sharing Regina keep your head up "So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
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