Teen Poetry #4 |
Crystal Catacombs - Departing |
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Crystal Catacombs - Departing In memories, we find ourselves Most likely as a child In nightmares, as in memories A little boy exiled Memories breathe not This man today, tomorrow, Becomes the same thing A figment of imagined tale In memories, a novel weaves A sapling sprout in soil of tears Nutrition felt from dried, dead leaves Towers chase the sky Sanctuary not for me Catacombs wind down Goodbye mother, goodbye home Watch me chase the catacomb |
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© Copyright 2001 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved | |||
jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
what a perfect toned ending... liked the consanance in:" A sapling sprout in soil..." Very well done here, so what are these chrystal catacombs JR When life dims to a perish, my life will become a quote in itself... |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Thought-provoking poem, my friend. It's very well-written, and you can feel the emotion radiate from it. Good work. "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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sweetypie5 Member
since 2000-10-06
Posts 97MWC,OK,USA |
WOW(drool drips down) I really wish i could write lie this!!! OMG! Keep writing!!! UR such a good poet! ~LOVE~ *~*S*T*E*P*H*A*N*I*E*~* *~*We ignore the one's who adore us and adore the one's who ignore us*~* *~*What's better? A truth that draws a tear? Or a lie that draws a smile?*~* |
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Tamma
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV |
Here I go again with those darn cactuses! Everytime I see the word "Catacomb" I think I'm seeing "Cactus" LoL...great poem Allan www.angelfire.com/wv2/poetrycorner I'm just a girl looking at a guy asking him to love me |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
This is the crystal catacombs one. It was worth the wait I must say Allan. The first stanza hit me like a slap in the face for some reason. Oh wait, I know why. Ignore me. The ending is just perfect. A consistant flow made it easy reading and created an atmosphere of uniqueness. Wonderfull Allan, just wonderful. Notice it says 503? ~AF~ "Love makes us poets and the approach of death should make us philosophers." ~ George Santayana [This message has been edited by anonymousfemale (edited 02-23-2001).] |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
wonderful as usual ¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤ |
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Chel Senior Member
since 2000-07-01
Posts 511Baltimore, MD, USA |
Allan, great poem. I enjoyed reading it. Keep up the great work. By the way thanx for the post. Chel "True friends stab you in the front" "Never say 'I Love You' unless you mean it" |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
i expect nothing less from you good job Allan keep em coming So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
Ohh wow thats what I'm talking about *giggles* Soo wonderfully written I wish I could write like that!!!! WOW is all I can say dang wish someone with your talent could write me a sweet lil poem you know with knights and faeries and stuff jk but do keep them coming Tmd, Kristen "Let me be the one you call, if you jump I'll break your fall, lift you up and fly away with you into the night" ~Crash and Burn~ |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
Allan, i adore this....thats all my fingers will type. Regina |
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Starr Member
since 2001-02-08
Posts 100 |
Beautiful.... Love it.... I'm lost for words!! Every action of our lives touches some chord that will vibrate in eternity. |
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MysticalAngel7 Junior Member
since 2001-02-24
Posts 20 |
Wow.I love your style of poetry. It's very unique. Your poems explains deeply how you feel and that's what writing is all about. I admire your work and thanks for the post. Always-Carissa |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I didn't like this one. I thought it was below your usual. You're a wonderful writer Allan, I just didn't feel this was up to the level I'm used to seeing. I like the mental images I got from it, but I'm used to seeing a bit more magic in your work, ya know? Hope to see more poems....... I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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