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Teen Poetry #4
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In gloom (revised repost)
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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In gloom (revised repost) |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA 
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The flakes swarm to kiss the unveiled neck. Then, they vanish, like she, whose tears have yet to dry on my shoulder. Looking at life in retrospect, I conclude that I’ve lost more than I meant to. Tired hands pull the curtains to hide a cloud that has shaded the sun and made the world gray. In the absence of others, one begins to doubt one’s own existence. The mirrors reflect dismay. Afraid of the mournful eye, the mirrors shatter and twisted images scatter around the room. Like a moth seeking light, I continue to flutter around sharp visions, alone, in gloom. Check out my poetry here: http://www.unknownpoets.com/db/authors/master |
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| © Copyright 2001 Andrey Kneller - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Nicely done here.....I liked this one but not as much as the others. Still, this is better than I could have ever come up with!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
OMG, that's so cool, the symbolism is fantastic, It's going in the library! "Some men see things as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Whoa! This one is deep. I love the transition from a view of the outside world down to the inside world. This one is quite surreal. Good job. Interesting rhyme scheme as well. |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Forgot the add this to my library! |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
eh... i dunnno.... JUST KIDDIN Nice job once again bro JR When life dims to a perish, my life will become a quote in itself... |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Master, I have always been in awe of your brilliant talent. This piece is just magical. Thankyou for giving me something to hold onto. ~AF~ "Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." Buddha |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
You neve seize to amaze me master...beautiful So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
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