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Teen Poetry #4
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Labour (Paradelle)
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Labour (Paradelle) |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg 
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(Found a neat format. It's called "Paradelle." A paradelle is a repetition of lines, with each stanza ending in two lines which use all of the words in the previous lines. Also, the last stanza uses all of the words from all previous stanzas. Sound complex? It is ~DIFFICULT~ so i encourage you all to try it. Read on, you'll get the idea.) "Labour" the afterbirth was beautiful the afterbirth was beautiful the child without a clue the child without a clue a beautiful clue without the child was the afterbirth doctors shaken up doctors shaken up threw our child away threw our child away child shaken away our doctors threw up mother never knew mother never knew that the child was still alive that the child was still alive that mother was never alive still the child knew the child was beautiful without the afterbirth. Our mother was a child, threw away the clue. Still alive, doctors, shaken up never knew that child. [This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 02-20-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Yea it does seem quite difficult.......I don't think i'll try it......too lazy. Wow, but you did a nice job on it. Maybe some more of this format?  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Paradelle is difficult, indeed. This is a great first attempt. I love how it isn't exactly clear in the beginning, but the last stanza is perfectly clear. I'm looking foward to seeing more!  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
i have to say i despise this style but the poem sounded alright... keep searching for those unique styles JR When life dims to a perish, my life will become a quote in itself... |
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Angel in Flight Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381 |
LOL!!! This was a Great Paradelle.. I am sure I can find one I made somewhere around here.**searching** Oh well.. maybe next time. Wonderfully done, Allan. Keep them coming The law of harvest is to reap more than you sow.Sow a habit and you reap a character.Sow a character and you reap a destiny |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
That was cool, but I think I'll leave it to the experts... maybe I'll try it. That was so neat! I want to try it, but it looks hard!!!  I'm scared!Rhonda "I am Canadian" - Joe "When I find the right guy for me, I'll love him no matter what he does or what he's like" |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Allan: I like this one. I've tried that style before, but not with this much success. I liked this one. It sort of reminded me of some of Phil Collins' song lyrics about life. |
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Starr Member
since 2001-02-08
Posts 100 |
This is nice. I like the style, never tried it but I just might. Read quite well. Thanx for posting it! |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I think I'll stick to my free verse----i've been in this writer's block for like a month now and i don't think i can write a paradelle So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
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