»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
Whistling Breath
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
Whistling Breath |
|
|
jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair 
|
.,._-=-`~~`-=-_.,. *Dedicated to Lynne* .,._-=-`~~`-=-_.,. ‘Whistling Breath’ Our hands sing into unison, As liquid fingers mix well Your breezy fingertips fan my skin, As your breath dwells Head a’rests upon cotton shoulder, As you simply sigh Sleep as I attend to you, And place hands aloft your thigh Sounds you play do me well, And leave me visions to dream As saintly clouds and rainbows, Flow my head up stream Now I wish before I sleep, These thoughts to never fly And linger inside my mind, Until the day I die Jeremy D. Raulinaitis 2/20/01 When life dims to a perish, my life will become a quote in itself... |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Jeremy Daniel Raulinaitis - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
HiddenSparklez Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 190British Columbia, Canada |
Wow, great dedicated for sure! Very sweet poem.  "You do what you do, you say what you say, you try to be everything to everyone... come on now, do that stupid dance for me" -Everclear |
||
Skyfire 
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Awesome, as usual. Don't understand all of it, but then I'm tired, so I don't understand much of anything right now.  Rhonda "I am Canadian" - Joe "When I find the right guy for me, I'll love him no matter what he does or what he's like" |
||
|
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Seems that Teen #4 got over its dark phase and is entering some sort of romatic one. I liked the dark one better, meself. But hey, this love poem was excellent. She's all yours, man. ~_^ -Allan The unintelligent are merely tools for the intelligent. That would make my house a veritable toolshed. ~~Allan Riverwood |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
WHat a sweet poem!! I liked this a lot jer....not yer best but nice......who's the chick it's dedicated to? did the valentine work well? DETAILS!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
||
|
jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
Skyfire- I guess the first stanza is pretty abstract but its basically about holdin her hand and just holdin each other DD- Well that chic didnt know i wrote it for her even tho i signed and i stuff cuz i did one of those e-card things, then i told her i wrote it and she said "i love it", so thats pretty lame, i think i may have found someone else tho  oh well life goes on?JR When life dims to a perish, my life will become a quote in itself... |
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Mr. Lover Lover Should I call you Shaggy now? j/kvery romantic Valentino I think you should start writing more of these kinds i'll be waiting So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
||
|
jytree Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 336omaha ark usa |
I liked it the conutation of words and the smoothness it was really good Lead me not into temptation, I can find the way there mysel |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
