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Teen Poetry #4
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IsGona
Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723


0 posted 2001-02-19 09:52 PM


Here's a poem... sort of... I have alot of things (good things) going on in my life right now and I feel I'm loseing a grip. I know it will pass but basicly that is why I haven't been able to write or visit this place very often lately and that is also why this poem is not so good *COUsucksGH*... but enjoy it for what it is worth.


Over Whelmed (for lack of a good title)

brain is fried
fuse is short
pressure building
no support

sleep comes last
not counting friends
work and school
even weekends

day by day
I waste away
oh so true
yet so cliche


To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is
research

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese


[This message has been edited by IsGona (edited 02-19-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 IsGona - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2001-02-19 10:35 PM


Hey Isgona! I been missing you! *hugs* haha.
Nicely done here. I actually thought the poem was well done.
come back to us more!



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Skyfire
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since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
2 posted 2001-02-19 11:15 PM


*sigh* and you say that sucks? I'm shaking my head now. It does NOT suck!!! Why? Cause I said, that's why! Some people. Just don't know good poetry when they write it. It's good as always Jason.

"I am Canadian" - Joe
"When I find the right guy for me, I'll love him no matter what he does or what he's like"

Greeneyes617
Member
since 2000-11-22
Posts 329
Arkansas
3 posted 2001-02-19 11:29 PM


This is an awesome poem! You described it well. Thanks for posting this.
HiddenSparklez
Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 190
British Columbia, Canada
4 posted 2001-02-20 12:09 PM


...Even though u want me to tell you it sucks and why... i can't. :P It's a good poem, for sure.

"You do what you do, you say what you say, you try to be everything to everyone... come on now, do that stupid dance for me" -Everclear

fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

5 posted 2001-02-20 03:44 AM


IsGona:

You needn't worry about this sucking. I tought the rhyming was quite well done. BTW, you ought not to be too hard on yourself. In other words, change the wording on that darned Critique flag to something else!

IsGona
Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723

6 posted 2001-02-20 06:21 AM


Aww... dopey... *group hug* I still feel
like a part of the family.

Skyfire ~ you were to kind. but thank you

GreenEyes ~ good to hear from you... so very glad you liked it

HiddenSparkleZ ~ that was cute... thanks

Fractal ~ you are right... I changed it... thanks



Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
7 posted 2001-02-20 06:54 AM


Great rhythm and rhyming scheme IsGona ... nice to see you posting. You've spoken for a few people with these words I would suspect, even me. Some days I feel like this too. Hope things cheer up soon!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Child of the Stars
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since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI
8 posted 2001-02-20 02:59 PM


J-man, you KNOW what I'm gonna say. But I'm gonna say it anyway. YOUR POETRY DOESN'T SUCK! Never did, never will. So put a smile on your face, and make the world a better place....haha or not. Just stay you.
~Carly


"Nature is not only all that is visible to the eye--it also includes the inner pictures of the soul." ~Edvard Munch

[This message has been edited by Child of the Stars (edited 02-20-2001).]

keoni
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC
9 posted 2001-02-20 04:25 PM


This is a great poem IsGona. I don't have any words of wisdom, I'm going through the same thing. I haven't even been able to come here in a long time. This is my first post in probably a month, and the first poem I read is your's. What a coincidence? Nice poem and good luck!
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine

LoveBug
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since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

10 posted 2001-02-20 08:17 PM


We all have times like this when we feel overwhelmed. I hope you have found a way to cope! This poem is wonderful, thank you for sharing it with us!



"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

sweetstuff101
Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 375
OK, USA
11 posted 2001-02-20 08:24 PM


Yeah....I know about this one!!! I have wwwaaayyyy too much going on right now!! I Barely have any time to do anything!! But I don't think this poem sucks...I think its awesome!! Great job, keep it up!!!

Much Luv,
~*~S*W*E*E*T*S*T*U*F*F~*~


How come it is so easy for a person to say "I hate you," but it is so difficult for someone to say "I love you" and really mean it????


IsGona
Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723

12 posted 2001-02-20 09:30 PM


oops







[This message has been edited by IsGona (edited 02-20-2001).]

IsGona
Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723

13 posted 2001-02-20 09:34 PM


Thank you, thank you, thank you, and ahhhh thanks. I can't believe all these responses... I feel a little selfish because I have not been around and replying to every one elses... I promise by this weekend I will do a mass reading and replying hehe
Thanks again
Jason


'Maybe it's stupid
Maybe it's nothing
Maybe this something... just wont go away
..
I'm not a liar
I'm not a sinner
I'm just trying... not to get thrown away'
FULL DEVIL JACKET


[This message has been edited by IsGona (edited 02-20-2001).]

Starr
Member
since 2001-02-08
Posts 100

14 posted 2001-02-21 02:34 AM


Sucks? How could you say that it's awesome in many ways.... I love it.... Hope I see more of your writing.
~sugarpie313~
Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375
Maine, USA
15 posted 2001-02-21 12:51 PM


this is great!!!! JUST AWESOME hehehe it dont suck... at all.

Valerie

*Life can take your dreams and turn them upside down, Friends will talk about you when you're not around, but don't ever lose that light in your eyes*

Acies
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
16 posted 2001-02-21 05:48 PM


I just hope you start feeling better. Hang in there buddy.....Everyone goes thru tough times in life. I too am in the same boat, and I'm haning on as hard as I can I'd like to see you do the same thing

So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

IsGona
Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723

17 posted 2001-02-21 06:12 PM


Starr, SugarPie, acirE
Thank you for your comments.
And don't worrie acire, everything is good... infact things are GREAT, I'm just overwhelmed with a major lack of time, but anyhow, thank you again ppl. It's hard to believe every one liked this one though. I still think it stinks, but whatever... you guys are the experts.
Jason

Tears of Glass
Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 182
Physically? VA.... Mentally? I'm not quite sure
18 posted 2001-02-21 08:45 PM


I hope things get better SOON! And welcome back! GREAT poem.. very well done. Well, I guess I can't say any more than what's already been said. But welcome back, again. Keep posting!

*Jennifer

"My nightmare isn't fearing what I dream... It's waking up, knowing what I'll see."

Jenn Cirrincione
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since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107
Fl
19 posted 2001-05-21 10:53 AM


Hey Jay!! Since you may not be on for a while...I will occupy myself by reading your old stuff...lol
I agree with everyone else, I don't think it sucks at all, and I certainly know what it feels like to be overwhelmed. Much love.

Jenn

"If it's wrong to love you, then my heart just won't let me be right, cause I'm drowned in you, and I won't pull through without you by my side." Mari

Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
20 posted 2001-06-10 07:42 PM


Hey, just take your time and relax a bit  
Hope things get better
good luck

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Maree, Mic

Marshalzu
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Member Elite
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681
Lurking
21 posted 2001-06-11 09:18 AM


I think I got here a little late so yeh umm... This is really great and I can't understand why you don't post more...  anyway great read...
Zu

the_rescue
Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316
Japan
22 posted 2001-06-11 09:43 AM


yeah I can totally relate with this poem, and it's a Chou*goodpoem*gh peace out

The rescue

in the silence of the night I hear angels voices singing your name oh how beautiful is your name as they sing over and over.  (SPOKEN)

Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
23 posted 2001-06-11 09:46 AM


This was good stuff Jason.  Hope all will get better dude.

Regina

Julian L. Chester
Member
since 2001-06-05
Posts 50

24 posted 2001-06-13 12:26 PM


i too believe that this poem is good because poetry come with in the person that writes it and i dont think no poem actually sucks and if another person thinks it sucks then that only means that they dont understand the poem. in order for a poem to be good for a person on the outside looking in is only if that person understands so keep coming to this site cause your good and keep your head up high ok. bye now keep writing and dont be afraid to put your poems out there.
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