Teen Poetry #4 |
Midnight charm |
jytree Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 336omaha ark usa |
Shadows fall in are hearts, Only there to rip us apart, Only to be free to see a briter day, Returning from my dream I am stuck this way, Shadows cast and shadows poll, Ringing the bell of deathly toll, Am I to end of just a shure, Just the thought makes me fuke, Awaiting death day by day, Same motto all work no play, Because if you do you are fead to the snakes, And I really don't want to be picked up with a rake! Midnight's charm come to past, But I am another prisoner made into fact, Only to hang from a tree, I would say ouch but there is a noose you see, I have lived out the earthly days, Death is comming so I run like haze, Over the trees through the roof, Even Michael Jordan couldn't do this with one foot. So running fast and to just be free, Not paying attention I run into a tree, Ouch! Lead me not into temptation, I can find the way there mysel |
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© Copyright 2001 Michael Jay vaughn - All Rights Reserved | |||
Greeneyes617 Member
since 2000-11-22
Posts 329Arkansas |
I like it Jay. This is really good. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
fuke?......what's that? Anyway.....nicely done here. I liked this a lot!!!! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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jytree Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 336omaha ark usa |
I don't know what a fuke is I just invented a new word I guess and thanks greeneyesgoofy Lead me not into temptation, I can find the way there mysel |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
ran into a tree? i like your writing it's not simple, but still it doesnt give me a headache to analyze just right i guess thanks for sharing So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
hehe... i liked its seriousness but then the ending kinda disapointed me... it was going real good, and overall i liked it a lot.. keep on writing JR Life is fading me away, far away, but I’m sketching myself back, line by line, mark by mark. |
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jytree Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 336omaha ark usa |
I was tired and couldn't think of a good ending Lead me not into temptation, I can find the way there mysel |
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