»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
Graduating
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
Graduating |
|
|
Ski*Chick Member
since 2001-01-13
Posts 141Fitchburg, Mass, Usa |
Graduating. We are leaving our friends today We are saying our final words of wisdom We are on stage. We all look around the stage think is this really happening Then they call our name’s one by one It’s getting scary once it comes to your name. We all had so many memories of school trips Which we can’t forget the late nights, the talks That night we say oh my gosh this is it. You think about you and your friends Saying good bye maybe forever Maybe you’ll meet up with each other. When you have to say your speech you have tears running in your eyes Cause your leaving your friends that you spent all your life with But you say your last words and say good bye to the school. It’s the last day of school all your friends are scared, lost You remember all those memories Then you leave and never see them again. Minna 17 |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Minna - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
This poem is extremely notalgic to me. I remember this feeling all too well, even though I was not exactly a social person in school. I was indeed very scared, feeling like I was going on some long voyage or something, into the unknown. As far as constructive critiques, I noticed that your grammar was not very good in this poem. For example, in your references to your musings and wonderings about whether or not this was happening, you ought to have punctuation marks. Also, you might want to have a consistant structure, perhaps a rhyme scheme of some sort. |
||
|
Elvenblood Member
since 2001-02-17
Posts 409Maine, USA |
Oh, I love it, i'm going to graduate 2 years after this one. OMG, reading that poem and imagining it happening is too much for me! Into the library it goes, and out it will come when it's time for me to be up on stage in a cap and gown. Thank you. I'm not really one for critiqueing things. Umm...in truth, I think style, or construction is less that 5 percent of the quality of a poem. Always focus on truth, or emotion, or a storytelling. And it only has to make sense to YOU, unles you're worried others won't understand it. "Some men see things as they are and say why. I dream things that never were and say why not." ~RFK |
||
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
It's sometimes hard to realize that we have to move on in life. Memories just flew bye mye eyes when reading this poem. Just remember, there are more friends to meet in the future. love the poem Minna So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
||
Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Okay, that brought the tears to my eyes! I don't want to grad now! It's my turn this year, and it hadn't really hit home about not seeing my friends ever again... How am I going to live without them? It was a good poem, though!  "I am Canadian" - Joe "When I find the right guy for me, I'll love him no matter what he does or what he's like" |
||
|
HiddenSparklez Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 190British Columbia, Canada |
Great subject to write about. I'm graduating this year and all my friends were crying after first semester because we all had different schedules.  It is going to be scary... and I'm still not sure how that day is going to hit me, but when it comes I hope it is like a stage ... a play that ends on a good note.  "You do what you do, you say what you say, you try to be everything to everyone... come on now, do that stupid dance for me" -Everclear |
||
|
Shygirl82 Member
since 2001-02-19
Posts 245Ilinois |
Wow..great poem. It brought alot of my feelings that I had when I graduated back to me. It really touched me. Its amazing how fast time can fly..One day everyone is there..the next its time to say goodbye. ~Nikki~ |
||
|
Ski*Chick Member
since 2001-01-13
Posts 141Fitchburg, Mass, Usa |
Thank you. It's going to be hard leaving Kelly and all my other friends..  Min If someone hates you, they never loved you. |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I'm graduating this year myself......My thoughts about it are between not caring about anybody and just wanting to go....and missing my friends.......depends how deattached I am at the moment. I liked this.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
