Teen Poetry #4 |
Death of Bitter Hands |
Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
Remind me of moons and milk and honey Pour it over me, preserve some purity and we find even hearts of stone can crack open wide In the shadows of the cave can you see stars? They remind us that we can go so very far And in my endless gaze without a blink, you must remember that I wouldn't change a thing and in the end we still pretend the time we spend not knowing when we're finally free and you could be -NIN "The Wretched" Angel of Darkness |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Impressive. I didn't really get much of a negetive vibe from this poem. In fact, it sounded a little more magical to me, like something from a medieval fantasy type story. However, the ending helped to convey a grounding truth. Impressive writing. Thankyou for sharing. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
ohhhhh, i like this a lot i agree, it's actually enchanting great work keep sharing So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Another masterpiece! I like your style. Short lines, with great meaning. Very well done! -Allan When the sun dies, and the earth is thrown off its axis, the two of us will still, at that moment, be thinking of one another. ~~Allan, to Amanda |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
true that... short lines really portray nicely.. good job jeremy Life is fading me away, far away, but I’m sketching myself back, line by line, mark by mark. |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Wondrous imagery...I followed this very well...its great when you come to the point where you realize you wouldn't change a thing...unique way of showing that, I really enjoyed this! *Krista Knutson* I'm a slow dying flower In a frost-killing hour The sweet turning sour and untouchable... -Natalie Merchant |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Oh this is just wowness........amazing piece here......freaking amazing!!!!! I loved it.....my fav from you yet! I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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