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Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

0 posted 2001-02-07 09:42 PM

in the dark of night
as the hail torments the earth
I smile, through the fog

Ina
Senior Member

since 2000-10-09

Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

1 posted 2001-02-07 10:46 PM

oooooo very intersting, i saw gloom and depth
regina

for those who say I'm their friend, u know me not well for if u did u would not stay around anymore to watch me fall away.

jeremydraul
Senior Member

since 2000-08-01

Posts 1118
State of Despair

2 posted 2001-02-08 12:33 PM

You know what I think about your senryus, theyre all good and you whipem out fast!
"Night Vision"
"Eyes of Light"
"Vision Magnificance"

"I believe that man will not merely endure: he will prevail. -William Faulkner (Noble Prize Speech.)

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

3 posted 2001-02-08 02:12 PM

what a wonderful read. This is what everyone needs to read. Makes people think and look thru life in a possitive way. good job AR

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

4 posted 2001-02-08 08:05 PM

Yup yup, it's a good one

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

5 posted 2001-02-08 11:50 PM

VERY VERY nice one allan.......VERY nice.
*claps*
I really liked this one.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

6 posted 2001-02-09 05:40 AM

Very nice Allan.
You have just helped me with my English homework in writing this piece.
Thanks

~AF~

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."
Buddha

DancinQueen

Senior Member

since 2000-07-29

Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA

7 posted 2001-02-09 10:01 AM

So here it is

I really liked this one, as I told you earlier. Glad you posted

Keep in touch

*dq

¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤

fractal007
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 1958

8 posted 2001-02-09 05:07 PM

Allan:

This is a very beautiful senryu/haiku. I think it is a haiku, because of its natural imagery. Mind you, I've not studied the technique well enough yet to know all the designations.

Back to the poem. It was quite beautiful. I've always loved stormy nights. You've captured both a great storm and a personal reaction in a very great way.

StarPryncess17
Senior Member

since 2000-05-31

Posts 932
Colorado

9 posted 2001-02-09 06:03 PM

Wow allan! It was beautifully thought provoking.

I've tried the whole haiku/senryu thing...not me, but it suits you well. Happy writing ~*~Jessica~*~

"Tell me why you cry"

[This message has been edited by StarPryncess17 (edited 02-09-2001).]

Neokrew
Member

since 2000-12-24

Posts 60
VA

10 posted 2001-02-09 07:05 PM

Hey,

Although I have no idea what this whole senryu thing is ( i would appreciate it if someone told me heheh

) but this poem was what she said makes you think.

--Neo

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