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Different
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Different |
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LucidityNow Member
since 2001-02-06
Posts 118Canada |
I bathe in Ivory, below, beyond dilusion. Embrace the darkness, I caress your confusion. I once fell, as I am falling now... Silence seeps through tormented winds, Foolishly escaping the black storms. I took your soul, in my own grasp. I teared it apart delicately, and examined inside, for it was filled with your ignorant emptiness... I feel as though I could have flied, I feel as though I've tried, I feel as though I have nothing to hide, I am me, stand by me or hate me because I am different, hate me, love me, the insignificant, lies within you... Decisions lie my wrists with incisions, as the mass of my body lays wastedly on the floor. Kick me, scathe me, mutilate me, do what you will, but you will never tear apart the rage to kill. You will never tear apart what was treasured inside, what was so preciously kept, from the mind's own eye, you will never make sense of what could've been me, because I tried to love thee... Run through me. Envenom my adrenaline, With the energy... Fly through me. Make my wings for me, With the energy... Trap me, Conclude my illusion, With the energy... Love me, hate me because I am different, look at me, contradict me, because of your confusion, contemplate what to do with me, I'll let you now. Yet... In the end... you reap what you sow. [This message has been edited by acire (edited 02-06-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Jesse Wintonyk - All Rights Reserved | |||
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Lucidity this is a terrific first post. It was written in a format that was different and I give you nothing but praise for the theme. Welcome to passions also. I hope that you come to enjoy it as much as we all do. I also hope to see more pieces like this in the future. Just a note though, you might want to change some or in particular one word at the end as your poem become a closed thread due to it. ~AF~ "Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." Buddha |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
Wow what a first post. Just beware of guidlines in the forum, you may want to read them. What a powerful piece, I loved this part:" I teared it apart delicately, and examined inside, for it was filled with your ignorant emptiness..." Great job! JeremY "I believe that man will not merely endure: he will prevail. -William Faulkner (Noble Prize Speech.) |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Welcome to Passions! I believe that this was a nice poem, but you are going to have to pay attention to the guidlines a bit more than you did. You cannot cover up a bad word by asterix's....anyway.....nice one here. Hope to see you post more.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!! It's good to see that you have decided to join our family here in Passions in Poetry. I see that yo are going to ft right in Your talent is undeniable Your first post has already amazed me please check you email p.s. I had to edit your poem a bit. The guidelines of PIP does not allow us to have profanity covered up by asterisks I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR [This message has been edited by acire (edited 02-06-2001).] |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Wow, an awesome first post! Dark, vivid images and emotions here...just keep the profanity out and be sure to read our guidelines for posting, just so ya have a heads up. Well written, Welcome To Passions!  *Krista Knutson* I'm a slow dying flower In a frost-killing hour The sweet turning sour and untouchable... -Natalie Merchant |
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LucidityNow Member
since 2001-02-06
Posts 118Canada |
Hey guys, thanks for the response. Sorry about that last part. I didnt try to cover it up with astericks, I guess the forum did it for me, I wasnt sure about the word so I figured I would leave it in and see what happened. Well atleast I know for future reference. |
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