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Teen Poetry #4
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13
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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13 |
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Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
"13" Her soft red lips And smooth rounded hips Where are those lips now? And that cute little curve of her brow It's been too long a while Since anyone's seen her mesmerizing smile Or seen the shine of her silken hair That's always washed with the utmost care Prepare for the tears about to be cried For this angel of perfection has just died Another short and simple one, hope that doesn't take away from the overall message. Again, the number title has no significance because I give numbers to any poems I can't think of an actuall title for. >¶Øʆ< |
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| © Copyright 2001 Tony Ryan Johnson - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Nice one.....the brevity of the poem doesn't take away any meaning at all, in fact sometimes it adds meaning. Wonderful poem here poet.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
good description a very good picture remains in my head nice job ~JDR "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Not too short Poet, I got the message loud and clear, nice job Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
Kinda sliced at my soul on this one...great job... ~Carly inspiration of my art search for light out of the dark all the pictures in my heart lie awake there in my fog... |
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DragonFang Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522Missouri, USA |
Wow... loud and clear I'll say. I almost started crying (okay, so I'm a big softy anyway...) anyway, very nice poem. |
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Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
Just to let everyone know, this didn't happen to me, or anyone I know for that matter. But my imagination is rather vivid, sometiems too vivid. Anyways thanx everyone for the feedback. >¶Øʆ< |
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Angel in Flight Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381 |
This is so very said although beautiful none the less. Please keep up the work its wonderful. |
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Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
Great work... you have written a great one here!! I look forward to reading more!! I like your number idea though for when you can't think of a title... mind if I use it some time?? Melz!! You can't hurt me anymore than I have hurt myself already... |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
This is really great. It's wonderful when people can write things so true to life, without it even happening!! Good work.  xoxo Jenn "A person can never get over a broken heart if they aren't willing to let go of all of the pieces."-- ?? |
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Baby Gansta Junior Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 24 |
A very healthy imagination, you managed to caputure the experience so well with out having experienced it...well done poet. |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
you go me thinking really hard here the imaging of the poem is great i'd love for you to explain the poem a bit more thanks for sharing I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
well there isn't much to explain, I just imagined what it would be like to love someone and have her taken away...(shhh I have no life, no girl, and no car so what do you expect?) anyways I'm glad you all liked it. >¶Øʆ< |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Yes yes yes, very good job "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Poet...! Don't be so hard on yourself. P.s. you don't ever need a girl to be happy, never forget that. I just figured I'd reply to you again, since you were gettin all pessemistic. xoxo Jenn "A person can never get over a broken heart if they aren't willing to let go of all of the pieces."-- ?? |
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Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
thanx Jenn, but I do disagree with you on not needing the girl part, maybe I don't 'need' someone at this stage of my life but still I don't think my life would truly be complete with out someone to devote it to...and anyways I'm always cynical and pessemistic and skeptical, but thanx for the thought!>¶Øʆ< |
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orange()alligator Junior Member
since 2001-02-06
Posts 21 |
~poet~ this is one of my favorites by you, it leaves a vivid picture of the girl in your head. keep it up! :-) oh yea..sumthin tells me u have a girl now (hehe guess who? lol) |
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