Teen Poetry #4 |
The Rise of Man" (rengay by Allan Riverwood and Tamma) |
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
(hehe... Rengay is really catching on. here's one that Tamma and I did today. enjoy!) continents are one volcanoes erupt and bleed lizards rule the earth no longer here, true? but we've found a peice of them will they be back soon? next the rise of man from their cold cavern houses monkeys master flame dragged around by hair... not my idea of fun do we have tools yet? trinkets, like the wheel lead us into greater things feeding intellect why am i still being dragged? am i still stuck in the past? |
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© Copyright 2001 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved | |||
Angel in Flight Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381 |
Smiling~*~ What a wonderful read and rengay you two made. I was smiling through the whole thing. You two should work together more often. You make great rengay partners and your imagry is fantastic. Tamma~*~ Congrats on your first renga it was simply marvelous. All together great job you two. |
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Tamma
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV |
Just adding to my libary... www.angelfire.com/wv2/poetrycorner I'm just a girl looking at a guy asking him to love me |
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Miracle Junior Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 22 |
WONDERFUL RENGAY!!! I loved this so much, and i cant believe that this is Tammas first try at this. This is truly an amazing work of art. Great job you two |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Nicely done you two. This rengay stuff is catching on I guess. Great job tamma, I wouldn't have expected you to work on such a wonderful piece with allan, what a wonderful surprise. Great job guys. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Tamma
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV |
Uhhhh....Dopey what does "I wouldn't have expected you to work on such a wonderful piece with allan" mean? Just wondering... ~*~ Tamma Loves Justin ~*~ www.angelfire.com/wv2/poetrycorner I'm just a girl looking at a guy asking him to love me |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Uhhh I missed the rengay thing..Must have been sleeping in class that day. However, I do like this a lot. It's cool... good job guys!! Teamwork.... go team!! xoxo Jenn "I'm a big, big, girl, in a big, big world, it's not a big, big thing if you leave me, but I do feel, that I will miss you much..." Emilia |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Yup, I like it, nice job "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
My library, too. One of the good things about Rengay is that you can appreciate it without sounding arrogant. ^_^ Thanks for your praise, everyone! We're really proud of this, and I'll agree that this was an unlikely collaberation. It all started when she said "I'm bored." ~_^ -Allan We used to hate people, now we just make fun of them. It's more effective that way. --KMFDM |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
This time i could tell who wrote which stanza Allan, you are doing a good thing, keep it up Tamma, that's funny what you said I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Tamma
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV |
LoL...I DO get dragged around, not by my hair, Thank Goodness, but they like to grab my arm, and pull me back to them Yup, Allan, see what happens when I get bored? hehe ~*~ Tamma Loves Justin ~*~ www.angelfire.com/wv2/poetrycorner I'm just a girl looking at a guy asking him to love me |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
i dont get it, but im kinda buzzin so.. ill get back to ya. Jeremy "I believe that man will not merely endure: he will prevail. -William Faulkner (Noble Prize Speech.) |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Once again, a great colaboration. It is almost conversational. It seems that one poet is describing from a non-personal point of view, while the other is describing from the point of view of one of the humans. This is skillfully done, and woven together. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Interesting observation, Fractal. I believe that was something that all came with our individual styles, as opposed to what we had planned. Neither of us expected it to turn out that way, but hey, it only adds to it. Thanks for looking at that, I might not have noticed it. -Allan We used to hate people, now we just make fun of them. It's more effective that way. --KMFDM |
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Tamma
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV |
Yea, I thought it seemed conversational as well, but I noticed it the first tyme I read the finished work www.angelfire.com/wv2/poetrycorner I'm just a girl looking at a guy asking him to love me |
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