Teen Poetry #4 |
Pretty Plastic Afterworld(repost from a long time ago) |
anomaly187 Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284San Francisco,CA,US |
ok so i wasn't feeling any urge to write a new poem today so i decided i will save creativity for another day and just repost a poem or two.. she tells me i am beautiful her lies stain my eyes with blood i am your priceless creation (the disgust in you is the hate in me) she dreams a colorful afterlife as if i'm not already scarred open sores and pussy lips (the disgust in you is the fear in me) such pretty plastic hiding faces staring at my beautiful mangled body i am what you make me (the abnormal vessel is the death of me) (the intolerance of you are the tears of me) "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro" [This message has been edited by anomaly187 (edited 02-05-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 Alexei - All Rights Reserved | |||
Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
wow! it was very good. this is this first time ive read it. They emotions were very raw and bitter. disturbing imagery. regina when i wish for you, i wish that could we lie side by side hearts entwined. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Woah, very nicely done here. I oughta try to write in your style some day. Where do you get your inspiration to write like that? I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Angel in Flight Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381 |
This is a Wonderful poem and i am so happy you reposted it! Great read. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Hey hey... very cool poem. I love how you used the parentheses to seperate certain lines. They came across as whispers in my head. Nice impact. -Allan We used to hate people, now we just make fun of them. It's more effective that way. --KMFDM |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
Wow AHHEM Wow...o dang...I'm not that good Bel |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
The parenthesis say to me, "IMPORTANT." The message was clearly received here. Nice lines: "(the abnormal vessel is the death of me)(the intolerance of you are the tears of me)" Good job bro! Jeremy "I believe that man will not merely endure: he will prevail. -William Faulkner (Noble Prize Speech.) |
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