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Teen Poetry #4
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anomaly187
Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284
San Francisco,CA,US

0 posted 2001-02-05 10:59 AM


ok so i wasn't feeling any urge to write a new poem today so i decided i will save creativity for another day and just repost a poem or two..

                          she tells me i am beautiful
                          her lies stain my eyes with blood
                          i am your priceless creation
                          (the disgust in you is the hate in me)

                          she dreams a colorful afterlife
                          as if i'm not already scarred
                          open sores and pussy lips
                          (the disgust in you is the fear in me)

                          such pretty plastic hiding faces
                          staring at my beautiful mangled body
                          i am what you make me
                          (the abnormal vessel is the death of me)
                          (the intolerance of you are the tears of me)



"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro"




[This message has been edited by anomaly187 (edited 02-05-2001).]

© Copyright 2001 Alexei - All Rights Reserved
Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
1 posted 2001-02-05 12:00 PM


wow! it was very good. this is this first time ive read it. They emotions were very raw and bitter. disturbing imagery.
regina

when i wish for you, i wish that could we lie side by side hearts entwined.

Dopey Dope
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
2 posted 2001-02-05 01:33 PM


Woah, very nicely done here. I oughta try to write in your style some day. Where do you get your inspiration to write like that?



I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Angel in Flight
Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381

3 posted 2001-02-05 01:35 PM


This is a Wonderful poem and i am so happy you reposted it!  Great read.
Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
4 posted 2001-02-05 05:16 PM


Hey hey... very cool poem.
I love how you used the parentheses to seperate certain lines.  They came across as whispers in my head.
Nice impact.
-Allan

We used to hate people, now we just make fun of them. It's more effective that way. --KMFDM

Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733

5 posted 2001-02-05 05:58 PM


Wow
AHHEM
Wow...o dang...I'm not that good  
Bel

jeremydraul
Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118
State of Despair
6 posted 2001-02-06 01:44 AM


The parenthesis say to me, "IMPORTANT." The message was clearly received here. Nice lines: "(the abnormal vessel is the death of me)(the intolerance of you are the tears of me)"
Good job bro!

Jeremy


"I believe that man will not merely endure: he will prevail. -William Faulkner (Noble Prize Speech.)

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