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Teen Poetry #4
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carve me out a wooden heart
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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carve me out a wooden heart |
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the day i tried to live Junior Member
since 2001-02-03
Posts 27the seventh circle |
carve me out a wooden heart a soul as hollow as your own life and with the dancing flame of kerosene and smoldering wood birthed into this dark and silent sphere douse my lips with oil and light this earth afire with your ancient slowly-dying match and spread a little extra fuel my way to consume my hardened heart until it splinters and causes the hands of the world to bleed |
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| © Copyright 2001 the day i tried to live - All Rights Reserved | |||
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I absolutely love it. Such a dark theme, great metaphors and personifications. You truly did an excellent job. Welcome to Passions. I'm going to enjoy reading your work. -Allan We used to hate people, now we just make fun of them. It's more effective that way. --KMFDM |
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anomaly187 Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284San Francisco,CA,US |
welcome to passions! i love dark poems.. and this one is a very good first post.. i await your future poems excitedly.. so hurry up.. great work! "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro" |
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katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
WOW!!! keep it up! ~katherine~ |
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Angel in Flight Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381 |
WONDERFUL FIRST POST!!!!! Welcome, I am so happy you decided to join our family here at passions, and i know you will make a great additon here. There are so many new people coming into our little family, and i believe your work is one of the best i have read thus far. I can not wait for your next post. Sincerely ~"Amanda"~ What comes with love are tears of pain. What comes with hate are brighter days~ Amanda |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Welcome to Passions! This is a beautiful exploration of the darkness that can creep into our lives. You have wonderful writing style. Keep up the great work! PS-check your e-mail  "Where there is great love there are always miracles" -Cather "Love heals everything, and love is all there is"- Zukav |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Welcome to Passions! Nicely done here. The title drew me in and the poem itself just captivated me completely. Wonderful job on this one! I do hope to see more from you.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
welcome to passions, first off. that was amzing. dark poetry is beautiful. its going into my libary regina when i wish for you, i wish that could we lie side by side hearts entwined. |
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armanca Member
since 1999-07-07
Posts 211Tennessee |
dear friend... I am lucky to find your poetry again  "consume my hardened heart until it splinters and causes the hands of the world to bleed" i love this part... it touches me... and makes a profound statement which is left as a mark in my mind and heart. Carman |
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DragonFang Senior Member
since 2000-03-09
Posts 522Missouri, USA |
Vurrry nice "Sa souvraya niende missian ye." \ I am lost in my own mind. |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
Dark is good. Keep writing this dark, mysterious poetry. It really satifies my mind. I agree with Allan in that you use very good literary devices. Keep it up and welcome to your new home, rent is due by the end of the week. -Jeremy "I believe that man will not merely endure: he will prevail. -William Faulkner (Noble Prize Speech.) |
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