Teen Poetry #4 |
Heart Whispers |
Bright_Eyes Junior Member
since 2000-12-22
Posts 29Plymouth, MN |
I can hear my heartbeat. It whispers, like water dripping through the trees. My lonely heart is more pale than the morning clouds that swim slowly through my fingers. This whispering heart used to enjoy love, until it bled from love's piercing arrow. My pain flows like red wine from my intangible wounds. My heart's silent screams shake the invisible walls. The walls crack and deafen my ears, but still his voice rings deep inside me. Nevermore will I hear our hearts beating together. Hot tears escape, entangling in my eyelashes, slowly they journey down my cheek. I can hear my heartbeat, whispering to stop. ~BECKY |
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© Copyright 2001 Rebecca Peterson - All Rights Reserved | |||
Angel in Flight Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 381 |
Dear Becky, This is such a very sad story and it sounds like it is very hard for you. Just always Keep your head up, look toward the sky, remember where you came from it has gotten you this far, and dont forget your past it will help you one day in the present. Best of luck to you and i truly hope you will be alright in the end. Just remember I'm here for you if you need anything. |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
the title was brilliant i really liked it, good meaning ~JDR "Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Magnificent use of similies and metaphors. Great imagery, i really love this poem. You reminded me of something very important that I once had. Thank you. -Allan Eternal life without the darkness isn't life at all- it is a lobotomy. |
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Melster Member
since 2000-12-09
Posts 442Brisbane, Qld, Australia |
This was beautiful Becky... great job!! Melz!! You can't hurt me anymore than I have hurt myself already... |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Wow very nice poem. This was written beautifully. Good job on this one. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Magnificently done My heart bleeds for you BRAVO!!! BRAVO!!! I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Sorrowful and powerful...some truly great images too. Wonderful work, keep it up! *Krista Knutson* I'm a slow dying flower In a frost-killing hour The sweet turning sour and untouchable... -Natalie Merchant |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
"It whispers, like water dripping through the trees." You did a really good job on this, thanks for sharing it with us. "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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