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Teen Poetry #4
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Hopeless love
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Hopeless love |
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Hardkore Junior Member
since 2001-01-31
Posts 33San DIego, California |
Hopeless Love Oblivious to my thoughts Never known, the contents of my heart Just a smile to you, so angelic to me Hopeless is this love I shelter for you Your thoughts of me no more than a friend The chances that you feel the same die every day To end this hopeless love all I must do is confess But with this simplicity comes the fear of not loving at all Hopeless is this love I shelter for you Passion fuels my love Passion becomes consumed by my love Without my love I become passionless |
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| © Copyright 2001 Garrett Megaw - All Rights Reserved | |||
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anomaly187 Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284San Francisco,CA,US |
i really love how you wrote this.. and the ending wraps it up beautifully.. great work on this one! "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro" |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Great poem, man. Seems you are in a tough spot. Just keep writing it all down, and good luck with your hopeless love. -Allan We used to hate people, now we just make fun of them. It's more effective that way. --KMFDM |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Double post? how did THAT happen? So~rry! [This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 02-01-2001).] |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Wonderful job on this one......kinda sad. I liked it though......flowed for me.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
It's a sad thing to love someone who doesn't feel the same for you. Well written and emotional piece, keep up the good work! *Krista Knutson* I'm a slow dying flower In a frost-killing hour The sweet turning sour and untouchable... -Natalie Merchant |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
What abeautiful way of penning your thoughts. In the end though, nothing is gonna happen if you don't say a word about it to this person. Remember though, timing is very important, and don't push things right now if you feel it's not right. Follow your heart. thanks for sharing again I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Ok... constructive.... I understand your pain. The situation sucks so badly. But as for the poem, it's short, simple and gets your point across. I liked it.  xoxo Jenn "I'm a big, big, girl, in a big, big world, it's not a big, big thing if you leave me, but I do feel, that I will miss you much..." Emilia |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Good poem here. If I could offer any criticism, it would be that you ought to add more punctuation to this poem. Especially periods. Other than that, however, I think this is a very good poem. I hope that you are able to move on from this problem. |
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katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
Well done. it's really good. i lke the flow. good luck with it all. ~katherine~ |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
This is a horrible feeling but such a beautiful poem. |
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