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Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

0 posted 2001-01-12 01:43 PM

Soul Wreck:

What happened to us my dear?
The feeling in fade.
The love I bade.
Not having you I fear.

All alone now, I'm here.
I'm in love with you,
And oh so true
My boat's a wild steer.

I shed a solemn tear.
You're on my mind.
Please be kind
Don't sneak up from the rear.

You've moved on, I hear.
Emotions shattered.
Only you mattered,
And now my life is mere.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

1 posted 2001-01-12 01:55 PM

"You've moved on, I hear.
Emotions shattered.
Only you mattered,
And now my life is mere."

Strongly put here man, great job of writing this.

"Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker
http://www.thehungersite.com

LoVe2PaRtY469
New Member

since 2001-01-10

Posts 5

2 posted 2001-01-12 02:01 PM

Its nice to know there are some sensitive guys out there and girls arent the only ones who missed love from the past. I like this one, keep posting

-Ashlie

jeremydraul
Senior Member

since 2000-08-01

Posts 1118
State of Despair

3 posted 2001-01-12 02:38 PM

very sweet DD
"My boat's a wild steer." <-- this was a very good line
get well

~JDR

"Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation." -Oscar Wilde

Ina
Senior Member

since 2000-10-09

Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

4 posted 2001-01-12 05:55 PM

its very very good. the whole poem was packed with feeling, good job dopey dope.
Regina

Melster
Member

since 2000-12-09

Posts 442
Brisbane, Qld, Australia

5 posted 2001-01-13 12:56 PM

Great Work Dopey, I hope that you can move on soon too like she has done, I know that moving on is hard, but sometimes it is a forced thing and we just have to do it! I hope that you are happy again soon!!

Melz!!

You can't hurt me anymore than I have hurt myself already...

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

6 posted 2001-01-13 12:57 PM

The rhyme scheme is very interesting to me...
you did a nice job with it.
Well done.

Eternal life without the darkness isn't life at all- it is a lobotomy.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

7 posted 2001-01-13 01:29 PM

Thanks everybody..........

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

DragonFang
Senior Member

since 2000-03-09

Posts 522
Missouri, USA

8 posted 2001-01-13 01:38 PM

Wow... very nicely put DD.

"Sa souvraya niende missian ye." \
I am lost in my own mind.

Morouxshi San
Member

since 2000-10-11

Posts 207
San Juan, Puerto Rico

9 posted 2001-01-13 01:40 PM

very very nice rhyme scheme.
the poem was very good.

refreshing, from the oversaturated symbolism.

San, the wise
San, the dumb
San, the guy...

Poet on Acid
Member

since 2001-01-07

Posts 325
Florida, USA

10 posted 2001-01-13 03:09 PM

ahhh regret of lost love. Isn't that always fun? sorry for my cynicism, great poem even with the sad inspiration behind it, and just so you know 'Ashlie' all guys have the potential to be sensative, but thanx to the great country of america it's not right for a guy to have feelings...he's just supposed to work a 9 to 5 job or go kill other people in wars and not expected to show any of his feelings unless it's behind closed doors or he's getting paid to act...< !signature-->

>¶ØÊ†<

[This message has been edited by Poet on Acid (edited 01-13-2001).]

Tamma

Senior Member

since 2000-01-17

Posts 794
In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV

11 posted 2001-01-13 07:55 PM

Dopey...You could teach some of the guys around this area a thing or two. Any girl that would have you as a boyfriend certainly has wonderful taste, and I sure hope She'll deserve you

Love ya,
Tamma

www.angelfire.com/wv2/poetrycorner
I'm just a girl looking at a guy asking him to love me

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

12 posted 2001-01-21 03:17 PM

beautifully said Dopes
finally, a poem of yours that's not so deep

i understood it right from the start
no need to read it 10 times

beautifully said my friend
beautifully said

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR

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