To NT - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

0 posted 2001-01-30 10:00 PM

We broke the night reflecting on existence.
My pillow absorbed your scent, and I grew
to hate the concepts of “space” and “distance,”
for both are defined by the absence of you.

We’re like two lines... or rather, two points,
cursing the fortune, which one day fenced us,--
but no matter how many times we flip the coins,
the probability, dear, remains against us.

Stubborn fingers refuse to dial your number,
protecting the ear, which now, dreads silence.
I turn in my bed, -- less than half in slumber,
as conscience confronts the drooping eyelids.

But, even in dreams, the mercury laps the zero.
And all that is left is to sit and observe
the fleeting time in the rear view mirror
and gasp when the road makes a sudden curve.

------------------
Check out more of my poetry here:
http://www.unknownpoets.com/db/authors/master

[This message has been edited by Master (edited 01-30-2001).]

Greeneyes617
Member

since 2000-11-22

Posts 329
Arkansas

1 posted 2001-01-30 10:39 PM

Wow....this is pretty cool. Thanks for posting it.

Hallie_Angel
Member

since 2000-12-06

Posts 102

2 posted 2001-01-30 11:03 PM

Wow,
You see things in a different light. I like it! See ya roun'!

~Catherine

P.S.
That was kool

jeremydraul
Senior Member

since 2000-08-01

Posts 1118
State of Despair

3 posted 2001-01-30 11:17 PM

woah
your take on this event was so imaginative, i loved it
nice job on creating such a deep and meaningful poem
hope you get better

-JDR

"I am two minded. I have two sides of thinking."

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-01-30 11:19 PM

VERY well put!!! The poem is extremely said with its sense of loss. The seperation causing heart ache. I understand this well, but what REALLY caught my eye within the poem was the image of you driving starring back in the rearview mirror of past.....remembering the once was and then all of a sudden being his with present and realizing you gotta turn somewhere.....the curve is up ahead.
Nice one......very well done.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

5 posted 2001-01-31 06:42 AM

Thank you everybody! I'm glad you all liked it!

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

6 posted 2001-01-31 07:36 AM

Wonderful description Master! I agree with Dopey ... the visuals were vivid in this piece, and the style and meter flowed well ... nicely done!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

7 posted 2001-01-31 03:57 PM

Thanks Kit!

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

8 posted 2001-02-01 01:55 PM

Nice to see that you've decided to join us in this forum
I hope you do share more in here
Your talent is of no questions
it shows in the poem
most beautiful read
thanks for sharing

I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR

Master
Senior Member

since 1999-08-18

Posts 1867
Boston, MA

9 posted 2001-02-01 08:44 PM

Thank you Acire, actually I've been posting in this forum for quiete a while, but not very often. I'm glad you liked the poem!

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.