Teen Poetry #4 |
La Chambre |
Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
In the forbidden blankets of my soul < !signature-->lies therein a secret space Where I took my dagger and made room So that you could be placed within me I try to hold you in my hand So that you don't forget that you're mine Like a child, I hold my treasure with pride but you can't be held onto Your soul has to fly so I let you go You go astray but never too far so I can still catch you when you stumble Brush off your knees and mend your wounds Then just as quickly you're gone again And in the forbidden blankets of my soul lies therein an aching, hollow space Where once my love had placed his heart but live there he does no more 1.8.01 I am no one if not myself. Angel of Darkness [This message has been edited by Dark Enchantress (edited 01-30-2001).] |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
very lonely and sad poem i understand your feelings beautiful job on this, it was truely wonderful to have read it ~JDR "I am two minded. I have two sides of thinking." |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
I like the sense of discouragement that this poem conveys. " In the forbidden blankets of my soul lies therein a secret space Where I took my dagger and made room So that you could be placed within me " All of this painful imagery. But in the end, the character simply leaves. |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Very well done here! "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Lakewalker....so mysterious...so simplistic.....so HARDLY EVER HERE!!!!! Anyway...very well done on this one. I liked the whole theme of it all. Pretty sad too. U ok? If not, icq me...... I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
Thanks a bunch you guys (and girls)!! And as for you, Lakewalker, where have you been? Nice to see ya again. Thanks for asking Dopey but I'm just fine. I've been kinda in a funk lately but I'm alright now. I am no one if not myself. Angel of Darkness |
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katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
this is awesome! |
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anomaly187 Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284San Francisco,CA,US |
it was lonely and sad but that didn't cover up the fact that you are an excellent poet.. great job on this one "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro" |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
I've been off in my own little never-never land playing in the game called my life. Actually I just needed a break from the forum so I could come back and appreciate it the way I should. So, that's about it "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
perfect...simply perfect "And in the forbidden blankets of my soul lies therein an aching, hollow space Where once my love had placed his heart but live there he does no more" marvelous words i feel the same way too I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
*is astonished* Not really. I know you are this superb of a poet, but I'm blown about by the power in the poem. The way you play out for a unnerving chain of events... the pain, the sadness... yet willingness to sacrifice yourself for your love... my word, My Memina.... this is one for the ages. ~ Titus I'm dealing with too much.... I'm loosing control. |
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