Teen Poetry #4 |
Paper Pill |
Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
medicine in a flask and dripping at its tip lick the point softly and press it to your skin medicine running mad nesting, resting, in your veins close your eyes tightly and watch the cure begin one paper pill makes you feel ill one drop of ink will calm you heartrate summits high don't remember all the pain relax your nerves and body and let devotion bleed elixer tears away innards, organs, falling limp lift another flask for it's your time of need one paper pill feeds petty thrill one flask of ink will heal you pain dissolves away but still your bruised arms itch you cradle in your hand your lovely, fearless leader you'll never turn your back to this, your bitter friend but in your ink-filled heart you know the virus was far sweeter one paper pill weak men, can kill one dose of ink will save you (it's nice to be back. ^_^) [This message has been edited by Allan Riverwood (edited 01-30-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved | |||
Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
im so happy your back. well that was more than amazing, dear friend. im awaiting for another poem. Regina sin from my lips? O tresspass sweetly urged!give me my sin again! W. Skakespeare |
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Allysa
since 1999-11-09
Posts 1952In an upside-down garden |
Glad your back!!! I wasn't "here" for a while too!!! SOMEONE, (anyone) forgot to tell me that there was a Teen 4 instead of a Teen 3 now! ANyways, Lakey finally filled me in~ THnks caboodles! Anyways, glad your back, and a very cool poem too! I can't see at all. Even if I could it would all be great, to put your picture on my wall, it reminds me that it's not so bad, it's not so bad. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Welcome back Allan.....you are no longer that poor, hungry boy onlooking a turkey feast through the window. I liked this very much. Nice one.....hehe..... I hope to see more from you. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
great to see that name again! this is very deep, im sure theres a hug explanation coming up... the title was very clever, and I noticed some internal rhyme and repetition good job friend -JDR "I am two minded. I have two sides of thinking." |
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Lakewalker Member Elite
since 2000-08-05
Posts 3289On the streets w/ people |
Hey Allan! Great job on this poem, I loved the flow of it. I didn't understand some of it, but that's ok sometimes. Sometimes it's not, and if that's the case, please, do explain "Disagreements stimulate thought, thought stimulates action, and action stimulates life." --Lakewalker http://www.thehungersite.com |
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Tamma
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV |
Hey Buddy!! sorry i havent talked to ya on ICQ but i um....kinda lost it www.angelfire.com/wv2/poetrycorner I'm just a girl looking at a guy asking him to love me |
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StarPryncess17 Senior Member
since 2000-05-31
Posts 932Colorado |
Beautiful Allan!! For some reason, it reminded me of all those lonely tear filled nights spent in the fetal position in the corner of the dark basement looking not to come down from my high listening to my Alice Deejay cd. ok too much info...I'm notorious for that. Sorry!! Beautifully penned. ~*~Jessica~*~ "Tell me why you cry" |
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anomaly187 Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284San Francisco,CA,US |
*STANDING OVATION* this is an amazing piece!! and i especially lived the paper pill, flask of ink idea you had.. outstanding work! "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro" |
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HiddenSparklez Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 190British Columbia, Canada |
Very unique indeed. How old are you again? LOL "You do what you do, you say what you say, you try to be everything to everyone... come on now, do that stupid dance for me" -Everclear |
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HiddenSparklez Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 190British Columbia, Canada |
Very unique indeed. How old are you again? LOL "You do what you do, you say what you say, you try to be everything to everyone... come on now, do that stupid dance for me" -Everclear |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
Oh boy... Allen's back... he jk great to have ya back Now the poem... I've read it like 9000 times now and I'm going to read it some more. Every time I read it I read something new or completely diffrent into it. I usualy don't do this, but explain to me what YOUR angle was. I can't decide on one. Maybe wait a while so you don't ruin the fun for others but eventually I demand a explination. But back to the praise. This was very itriguing, and very nicely written. well done Allen ~Jason "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ |
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Hallie_Angel Member
since 2000-12-06
Posts 102 |
Good poem, expressed a lot of emotions. Catherine |
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Greeneyes617 Member
since 2000-11-22
Posts 329Arkansas |
Very interseting.....Nice work Allan. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Allysa- LOL nice to see you finally found your way back to us! Thanks for the praise! Dopey Dope- Yes, I'm finally sharing the feast with all of you, and getting my dirty hands all over everything! ~_^ Thanks for the reply, man. Jeremy- Great to see that name again? That's what I thought after reading my first post back... hehehe. Likewise to you, man. I really did miss this place. Lakewalker- Yes, this poem has signifigance... I'll tell you if you really are giving up, otherwise consider it my one little secret. ~_^ A hint- nothing in this poem is directly literal. Thanks for the reply! Tamma- Good luck finding it. ^_^ StarPryncess- YEAH! Alice Deejay is cool! Glad that I can compare! lol Anomoly- Thanks for the standing ovation. You can sit down now. HiddenSparklez- I'm sixteen. Jason- Hehe... yes it is nice to be back. If only you had taken your time away from me to learn how to spell my name. ~_~ Regina- I'm so happy to be back... away time allowed me a lot of inspiration. Yes, i wrote a few pieces, not just this one. And i like the others so much more than this... well, be patient. HallieAngel- Yes, i was keeping a lot of emotion when i wrote this... but hey, now that it's all written down... we can all enjoy my pain! ^_^ GreenEyes- Thanks for the praise. Would you really want everything that you thrive for, if you could never appreciate it? |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
This was very unique. First I kinda thought the literal junk.... like an actual illness, or drug addiction. However, there is symbolisim in this eh? Maybe it's about that writer's block you were experiencing. I think it has something to do with your writing, because of the verbiage used. Anywhere close?? Good job. xoxo Jenn "A person can never get over a broken heart if they aren't willing to let go of all of the pieces."-- ?? |
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DancinQueen
since 2000-07-29
Posts 1092Kokomo,IN,USA |
glad to have you back And where's my email?? just kidding!! No pressure no pressure...but im gonna be completely honest. i have no clue what ure trying to say in this one. Probably because im absolutly drained physically and i cant think lol but im sure it has good meaning to you Keep it up *dq ¤Sometimes the hardest thing to get over, is something you never really had¤ |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
DOH!!! sorry ¤bump¤ I read your poem again, since you have given me the explination of your symbolism. It's great. Very interesting. "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ |
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katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
this poems awesome! ~katherine~ |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Soooooo what was the explanation allan? xoxo Jenn "I'm a big, big, girl, in a big, big world, it's not a big, big thing if you leave me, but I do feel, that I will miss you much..." Emilia |
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Tamma
since 2000-01-17
Posts 794In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV |
\/\/00|-|00!!! I got ICQ back www.angelfire.com/wv2/poetrycorner I'm just a girl looking at a guy asking him to love me [This message has been edited by Tamma (edited 02-01-2001).] |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
Fine, fine! Paper Pill= Good, meaningless poetry. Ink= Poor, meaningful poetry. Virus= Lack of inspiration and total poetic loss. So the title means more than one thing, it is also metaphorically descriptive of the poem. Happy? I thought so. ^_^ -Allan Would you really want everything that you thrive for, if you could never appreciate it? |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
im glad i got to this late as always, when you're late, you get help i mean, most of the time if your late, you get an explanation already welcome back allan I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Morouxshi San Member
since 2000-10-11
Posts 207San Juan, Puerto Rico |
welcome back allan. (weird to say welcome back since i havent been on here much) well ill come back soon enough people. dont worry bout me. and acire, theres something wrong with the site, ITS FAST AND RESPONSIVE love the new server, software and everything you did. (you as in the admins, ron and everybody behind the scenes) San, the wise San, the dumb San, the guy... [This message has been edited by Morouxshi San (edited 02-02-2001).] |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
uhmm........"I'm going back to bed." Many miles behind my eyelashes, there always seems to be |
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Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
he's back? You mean he left? Did I miss something? Great poem, as always. I'm gunna go hibernate or something now. >¶Øʆ< |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
hey allan...im new here but am becoming a fan of yours fast!!..i liked this one a lot especially the correlation between the poetry and ink and paper...good stuff... |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Well, Allan, people just like pulling up your old stuff, huh? This is another great piece of writing. Reading your work is always a pleasure. Good job once again --Marie It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives. |
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