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fozzyozzy
Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

0 posted 2001-06-24 09:31 PM

The Dance (Terza Rima)

Unlike the last, tango to shelves of memory
Sod and topsoil proving its carpet
Grasp'd unto mine hand; bleeding feet gradually

High school, such elevation and regret
Hearts so close rhythm faltering susceptible
Revolv'd globe of luminence forget

This dance, this chance,this last ending so terrible
Tear apart now and cleanse the wounds so fresh
burn the claws and heal my holes make them bearable

Trying to reject the rain with this mesh
My umbrella is welcome to blow away
Along with her and ideas of the best

Dance has finally come over what to say
The last chance disipated no other way
Perhaps rememberance of another day
So we stay; dancing in the scarlet cafe.
----------------
Midway through writing this I forgot how many triples are in Terza Rima. So it may be a bit screwed up.

"This is cactus land!!!"-T.S.Eliot

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

1 posted 2001-06-25 03:40 PM

I don't have a clue what a terza rima is but I like this, well done I liked the format and the flow great. thanks for the great read.
Andrew

obscurity of cloud
Member

since 2001-05-11

Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....

2 posted 2001-06-25 11:49 PM

this is BEAUTIFUL. I can't get over how amazing this is. Into the library with you.

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

3 posted 2001-06-26 12:18 PM

This dance, this chance,this last ending so terrible
Tear apart now and cleanse the wounds so fresh
burn the claws and heal my holes make them bearable

oooh wow....i agree with zu here..i have no idea what that word uis...but i enjoyed this immencilly..(sp?)...keep em comming cuz i want to read more!!!!....more says i!!!..

"Life is not long and boring,
it's short and compelling." -Javier Agosto-

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-06-26 01:14 AM

I didn't like this one much fozzy, but then again you had 2 previous masterpieces to compare this one to. Anyway, not my flavor right here.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

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