Teen Poetry #4 |
anti-love poem |
fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
ahh...this is just a venting poem that i wrote a few minutes ago. it's obviously edited, i'm sure you can figure out where. i think the moderators should be proud that i edited it for them! lol ;-) newayz...plz read and tell me wut you honestly think. thanks ppls! -fear- you look at me with your eyes full of pain but i think the scorn in mine can outlast yours anyday "WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THIS?!" i ask full of rage only to be kissed in reply i hate loving yet i do it so much why can't i make it go away??? i wish i could just ignore my heart all it ever does is cause me pain i wanna kill this beating red witch located deep inside my chest but that's okay i'm sure you will anyway -fear- ~this poem is dedicated to the poky little puppy~ "I know the pieces fit cause i watched them fall away"--TooL |
||
© Copyright 2001 bergundy - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
strong emotions here...i liked the poem...but are you...ok? ...great job! i hope everythings alright...bye im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
||
fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
thanks albert (or shall i say alberta heh heh) yep yep i'm okay...just paranoid lol. i'll live tho. thanks fer your concern. -fear- "I know the pieces fit cause i watched them fall away"--TooL |
||
punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
hey fear i so agree with ya bro! i have shirt that says love stinks! oh and one that says boys lie! robin I AM WHAT I AM SO DEAL! |
||
Linc
since 2001-03-07
Posts 552The Backstreet Boy |
Hey, I am glad to see you did some editing The poem is wonderful with the editing. I enjoyed it, keep them coming -- Linc "Blood Moon" |
||
the_rescue Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316Japan |
I liked the poem and if you did edit it you did a good job at it lol way to express the feelings I'm not asking U 2 luv me I'm just letting out the truth no hold barred about what I feel nothing wrong with what I say |
||
Raven Skye Member
since 2001-03-03
Posts 112.In a House. |
good job, full of emotion, woohoo, I really got into it, haha keep it up!! *×´¨`·.×*Raven Skye*×´¨`·.×* |
||
Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
This is a very powerful poem. I enjoyed this quite a bit. I can relate to a lot of what you're saying. Love stinks... it usually only ends in heartache. I loved the last stanza here. Very creative... I hope you feel better. Nicely done. --Marie "Well the sun is slowly sinking down, but the moon is slowly rising... so this old world must still be spinning 'round. And I still love you." -James |
||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I LOVED how you described your heart as a red witch. Awesome job on that. The poem was very powerful, but not as good as some of the more recent ones I've read from you. Anyhow, this still rocked. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
this is really good |
||
fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
wow thanks for the compliments and advice people. and poeticgirl..lol yea i had a shirt that said "love sucks" i wore it to school, and they made me tape over the word "sucks" so i had to walk around wearing a shirt that said love all day lol. i'd like to thank everybody in passions cause you guys have helped me have a lot more confidence in my poetry. well now to get away from being serious....the poky little puppy also enjoyed this poem. kinda pathetic that i'm 14-years-old, and i still enjoy that book. oh well. lol later all. -fear- "I know the pieces fit cause i watched them fall away"--TooL |
||
fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
lol i'm so psychic...the guy i wrote this about has already screwed me over.... -fear- "I know the pieces fit cause i watched them fall away"--TooL |
||
Poet on Acid Member
since 2001-01-07
Posts 325Florida, USA |
Someone needs a hug "It's too cold in the world...too cold to be alone..." - >¶Øʆ< |
||
zarina Member
since 2001-05-19
Posts 180 |
I liked the poem..I guess you could say that I know how it is.. |
||
keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
This poem was great. I thought it described things so good. "I want to kill this beating red witch...but that's okay, I'm sure you'll do it anyways" That was bad ass! Cool poem. I hope things get better. Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |