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fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

0 posted 2001-06-21 04:01 AM

ahh...this is just a venting poem that i wrote a few minutes ago. it's obviously edited, i'm sure you can figure out where. i think the moderators should be proud that i edited it for them! lol ;-) newayz...plz read and tell me wut you honestly think. thanks ppls! -fear-

you look at me
with your eyes full of pain
but i think the scorn in mine
can outlast yours anyday

"WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THIS?!"
i ask full of rage
only to be kissed
in reply

i hate loving
yet i do it so much
why can't i make it go away???
i wish i could just ignore my heart
all it ever does is cause me pain

i wanna kill this beating red witch
located deep inside my chest
but that's okay
i'm sure you will anyway

-fear-

~this poem is dedicated to the poky little puppy~

"I know the pieces fit cause i watched them fall away"--TooL

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-06-21 04:25 AM

strong emotions here...i liked the poem...but are you...ok?

...great job! i hope everythings alright...bye

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

2 posted 2001-06-21 04:34 AM

thanks albert (or shall i say alberta heh heh) yep yep i'm okay...just paranoid lol. i'll live tho. thanks fer your concern.
-fear-

"I know the pieces fit cause i watched them fall away"--TooL

punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

3 posted 2001-06-21 05:34 AM

hey fear i so agree with ya bro! i have shirt that says love stinks! oh and one that says boys lie!
robin

I AM WHAT I AM SO DEAL!

Linc

Senior Member

since 2001-03-07

Posts 552
The Backstreet Boy

4 posted 2001-06-21 08:36 AM

Hey,

I am glad to see you did some editing

The poem is wonderful with the editing. I enjoyed it, keep them coming

-- Linc

       "Blood Moon"
   Host: Lark.crodo.com
         Port:1313

the_rescue
Member

since 2001-05-23

Posts 316
Japan

5 posted 2001-06-21 08:51 AM

I liked the poem and if you did edit it you did a good job at it lol way to express the feelings

I'm not asking U 2 luv me I'm just letting out the truth no hold barred about what I feel nothing wrong with what I say

Raven Skye
Member

since 2001-03-03

Posts 112
.In a House.

6 posted 2001-06-21 11:50 AM

good job, full of emotion, woohoo, I really got into it, haha

keep it up!!

*×´¨`·.×*Raven Skye*×´¨`·.×*
"Can't explain the way that I feel. You are the love I never found." -Cold

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

7 posted 2001-06-21 03:58 PM

This is a very powerful poem. I enjoyed this quite a bit. I can relate to a lot of what you're saying. Love stinks... it usually only ends in heartache. I loved the last stanza here. Very creative... I hope you feel better.
Nicely done.

--Marie

"Well the sun is slowly sinking down, but the moon is slowly rising... so this old world must still be spinning 'round. And I still love you." -James

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

8 posted 2001-06-21 04:51 PM

I LOVED how you described your heart as a red witch. Awesome job on that.
The poem was very powerful, but not as good as some of the more recent ones I've read from you.
Anyhow, this still rocked.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

9 posted 2001-06-21 04:54 PM

this is really good

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

10 posted 2001-06-21 09:23 PM

wow thanks for the compliments and advice people. and poeticgirl..lol yea i had a shirt that said "love sucks" i wore it to school, and they made me tape over the word "sucks" so i had to walk around wearing a shirt that said love all day lol. i'd like to thank everybody in passions cause you guys have helped me have a lot more confidence in my poetry. well now to get away from being serious....the poky little puppy also enjoyed this poem. kinda pathetic that i'm 14-years-old, and i still enjoy that book. oh well. lol later all.
-fear-

"I know the pieces fit cause i watched them fall away"--TooL

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

11 posted 2001-06-25 04:34 AM

lol i'm so psychic...the guy i wrote this about has already screwed me over....
-fear-

"I know the pieces fit cause i watched them fall away"--TooL

Poet on Acid
Member

since 2001-01-07

Posts 325
Florida, USA

12 posted 2001-06-26 03:55 AM

Someone needs a hug

"It's too cold in the world...too cold to be alone..." - >¶ØÊ†<

zarina
Member

since 2001-05-19

Posts 180

13 posted 2001-06-26 04:33 AM

I liked the poem..I guess you could say that I know how it is..

keoni
Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 850
Up in the mountains in the NFC

14 posted 2001-06-26 01:40 PM

This poem was great. I thought it described things so good. "I want to kill this beating red witch...but that's okay, I'm sure you'll do it anyways" That was bad ass! Cool poem. I hope things get better.
Jon

"Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine
"Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur

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