juliet has slain her romeo

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fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

0 posted 2001-06-15 12:08 PM

haha okay...i don't know about this poem either. i copied it to this guy and he was like "uh...i don't get it." i'm hoping you guys can help me. if you see anything that you think can be fixed...tell me!!!! thanks, luv ya all.
-fear-

i kiss thy lips
only to taste bitter betrayel
your words may be lies
but your eyes speak only truth
as you drop down to your knees
to beg
and to plead
but, ah my dear sweet romeo
there is no turning back from your deeds
who is she romeo?
this you must tell me
a servant in my on home?
ungreatful wretch!
maid! bring her to me
for she must pay
as for you my sweet romeo
you shall face my angry dagger
which shows no mercy
to those who lie
and to those who cheat
slowly i impale you
enjoying the look of pain in your eyes
good-bye my dear romeo
pucker your lips
this shall be your last kiss

-fear-

[This message has been edited by fearing-laughter (edited 06-15-2001).]

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

1 posted 2001-06-15 09:36 AM

i got this, and frankly i liked it. keep on doing what ur doin.

fall hard, practice harder not to fall

[This message has been edited by Spine Grinder (edited 06-15-2001).]

Pickleweasel
New Member

since 2001-06-13

Posts 7
AL

2 posted 2001-06-15 10:16 AM

I liked this poem. It was really good.

ethel lahootie
Member

since 2001-03-06

Posts 143
SC, USA

3 posted 2001-06-15 03:10 PM

i got it too. i liked it too. haha

i really liked it...

- ethel

Ina
Senior Member

since 2000-10-09

Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

4 posted 2001-06-15 05:07 PM

I got it. wow! crazy romeo! lol...very good.

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

5 posted 2001-06-15 06:23 PM

thanks 4 replyin ppl! yaaaaay lol.
later
-fear-

DarkSilver
Junior Member

since 2001-05-21

Posts 33
Six O'clock High!

6 posted 2001-06-16 12:16 PM

romeo wasn't to smart to get involved with this Juliet in the first place if you ask me.
but the point came across real clear.
Hell hath no furry like an angry women.-Shakespear

It doesn't matter who you are only who you serve. - Draken O'Larn, the Starwarrior Saga

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

7 posted 2001-06-16 01:58 AM

i really enjoyed this read...great job on writing this...very nice feeling to it

...hope to see more...bye

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

8 posted 2001-06-16 05:10 AM

lol@silver. yeah i think if somebody cheated on me i'd get out the old dagger ;-) thanks for replying people.
-fear-

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

9 posted 2001-06-17 01:03 AM

This completely rocked! This was really awesome. VERY well written. It impressed me a lot.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Spice
Senior Member

since 2001-04-13

Posts 1266
Resting in my cardboard box.

10 posted 2001-06-17 01:54 AM

Great job!

And can't the guy read? I completely got the poem. Whats the love world gone to when even Romeo can't be trusted anymore? Men....pigs. HaHa

ANYWAY! I enjoyed this tremendously!!! Keep posting!

[This message has been edited by Spice (edited 06-17-2001).]

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

11 posted 2001-06-20 01:16 AM

thanks spine, pickle, ethel, ina, silver, alberta, dopey, n spice for replying. it means lots to me. lol o spice about the guy...he apparently isnt into poetry. i sent him one about a wife getting abused n he thought i was hitting on him :-P lol well..later.
-fear-

stace_co2003
Member

since 2001-03-30

Posts 497
In a dream world

12 posted 2001-06-20 10:01 PM

I get it!!! it's so cute too! it totally rocked!

I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem.

Heaven won't have me and Hell's afraid I'll take over.

obscurity of cloud
Member

since 2001-05-11

Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....

13 posted 2001-06-21 12:41 PM

this has a really neat theme. I hope to see more!

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

holatuwol
Member

since 2001-04-27

Posts 72
California, USA

14 posted 2001-06-21 04:10 AM

Talk about a poem that is evil and filled with immeasurable amounts of bitterness and... sorry to say, some amount of immature, unnecessary violence... I thought that emotions in this poem were portrayed relatively well, for the emotions that it attempted to convey... this one impressed me, but was one I couldn't really enjoy. ^^;

In a way, it's like a weird, queer twisted fantasy... the kind you have when you have a really bad day of swatting the person in front of you with a coiled newspaper for no good reason at all... in a way, the poem is more aloof than anything else.  It's emotion is distant, yet supposedly sinister and evil... very dark, and very violent in a twisted sort of way.

It is true that people often say that, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned," but this really takes the cake... oO;  This poem made me almost sick to my stomach... and I'm not sure if it condones or condemns the action of stabbing someone repeatedly for cheating on you... honestly, I thought this poem was a little bit harsh and quite frightening, but I guess I must be reading it wrong if so many other people enjoyed it.  Oh well, whatever floats your boat.

Perhaps this has something to do with the fact that I'm a guy... but of course, I've never been in a situation where I could cheat on anyone to begin with, so it's not like I'm sympathizing with the male there.  It's just... way too violent a poem for me... and I'm not so sure that if I were younger, I could handle the aloof approach this poem takes towards daggers, bloodshed, and one approach to replying to your boyfriend should he cheat on you...

- holatuwol

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

15 posted 2001-06-21 04:57 AM

wow holatuwol..i'm really sorry if i offended you :-( that was not my intent AT ALL.  i understand how you could feel that way, and frankly i don't blame you now that i re-read my poem.  i have been cheated on (more times then i'd like to think about) and i have never ONCE resorted to violence in solving the disputes.  i believe that violence only makes things worse, not better.

usually my poems reflect upon the emotions i was feeling that day (as i'm sure a lot of other's who post in passions do) and on the particular day that i wrote this i was feeling quite bitter.  at five o'clock in the morning as i was trying to sleep the idea came to me for this poem, and wouldn't leave me alone.  i immediatly got up, and just started writing.  i tried to make this poem historically accurate in the words, and the actions.  i thought that it was indeed very violent in the days that romeo and juliet would have lived, but perhaps that is just my brain filling in what i don't know with what i have seen on tv based on that time period.

again, i am truly sorry if i offended you, and i thank you for your honesty.  your reply really made me think.  thank-you.
-fear-

"I know the pieces fit cause i watched them fall away"--TooL

punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

16 posted 2001-06-21 08:35 AM

betrayel me nah! awesome poem!
robin

I AM WHAT I AM SO DEAL!

the_rescue
Member

since 2001-05-23

Posts 316
Japan

17 posted 2001-06-21 08:54 AM

hey I liked the poem it was a really good way of putting it I guess you kinda kept the whole shakespearian theme going on Nice right and don't ever ask me out OK Lol

I'm not asking U 2 luv me I'm just letting out the truth no hold barred about what I feel nothing wrong with what I say

angel_2401
Member

since 2001-06-12

Posts 131
Cincinnati, OH

18 posted 2001-06-22 05:15 PM

I like this! It's good, and I got it, so that just proves I'm not as dumb as ppl try to make me out to be...... Nonetheless, it was good!

I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem.

I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

19 posted 2001-06-25 04:36 AM

alright...cheated on today. this poem is back to being good.
-fear-

"I know the pieces fit cause i watched them fall away"--TooL

Poet on Acid
Member

since 2001-01-07

Posts 325
Florida, USA

20 posted 2001-06-26 04:13 AM

Ok I seriously want to know what is wrong with immature unnecessary violence.

"It's too cold in the world...too cold to be alone..." - >¶ØÊ†<

Pixie-Babe03
Member

since 2000-08-29

Posts 387
Central Maine

21 posted 2001-06-26 03:51 PM

i hadn't read any of your poems until this one, the title just caught my eye

i'm glad i read it, it is a truly wonderful and well written piece! great work!!
*Justine*

fearing-laughter
Senior Member

since 2001-04-24

Posts 605
land of cheese (Wisconsin)

22 posted 2001-06-28 02:21 AM

lol@poa! yah i agree...oh well not like my opinion matters.

justine-wow thanks! i'll try to read some of ur work :-D
bye bye
-fear-

emotions are like evil serpents that coil around your mind---me "i cannot save you, i can't even save myself"--stabbing westward

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