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Teen Poetry #4

Hear My Train

MoeRocko
Member

since 2001-04-25

Posts 166
West Virginia

0 posted 2001-06-14 11:08 PM

~Got this idea from the title of a blues song~

I hear my train coming
I hear my train a comin'
Wait around the train station
Because you don't love me anymore
Because I'm from the wrong side of these tracks

My tears burn my soul

Too bad you don't love me anymore little girl
Too bad you people put me down
I'm leaving this lonely town
I hate this place
My trains gonna take me the hell away from here

Gonna leave this town
Going to make a whole lot of money
I'll come back and buy this town

Castles made of sand, slip into the sea eventually...

Fall mountains, just don't fall on me.

HiddenSparklez
Member

since 2000-12-29

Posts 190
British Columbia, Canada

1 posted 2001-06-15 01:43 AM

Really strong emotions follow outta here... it gets right to the point. Good Job!

"You do what you do, you say what you say, you try to be everything to everyone... come on now, do that stupid dance for me" -Everclear

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

2 posted 2001-06-16 03:05 PM

I liked it because I love the blues. I thought it ended rather abruptly though. I was expecting a little bit more to the poem. It was good though. I liked it.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-06-16 03:08 PM

"My tears burn my soul"...wow!...i loved that verse...and the whole poem was good

...great job!...bye Ewok

im addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

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