Painting the sea of your heart

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Hallucination
Member

since 2001-03-18

Posts 419

0 posted 2001-06-10 06:20 PM

Waiting for the moment to be right,
To open the door, to reveal the shape of your heart.
Searching for the most perfect time,
To tell you what I see deep inside underneath your wall.

1ooo of stars, painting the sea of your heart.
With a color so tender, so difficult to describe.
With a romantic beat so soft, so different from the rest.
A full moon on fire, a beach covered with desire.
In this painted circle of yours.

I can’t breathe so lost within you,
Can’t stop staring, at your diamond shaped eyes.
Reaching for the most perfect you,
Cause I’m paralyzed of what I see beneath your heart.

1ooo of stars, painting the sea of your heart.
With a color so tender, so difficult to describe.
With a romantic beat so soft, so different from the rest.
A full moon on fire, a beach covered with desire.
In this painted circle of yours.

Memories kept inside the mirror in your heart
Beside the reflections of my love.
Can you understand why I’m always looking?
Cause I’m stunned from what I feel
Beyond your soul.

1ooo of stars, painting the sea of your heart.
With a color so tender, so difficult to describe.
With a romantic beat so soft, so different from the rest.
A full moon on fire, a beach covered with desire.
In this painted circle of yours.

obscurity of cloud
Member

since 2001-05-11

Posts 294
....:::::******:::::....

1 posted 2001-06-10 07:07 PM

This has really beautiful descriptions. I do think it looks like a meter is trying to form. Maybe you could play around with it and find a rhyme? OVerall i really like this, very crisp and true!

"so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost

LoneWolf
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 384
IL

2 posted 2001-06-10 09:32 PM

wow this was beautiful. i liked it a lot. great job. its going in my library.

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.
I've learned that even when you th

chasing rain
Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 737
Canada

3 posted 2001-06-10 09:52 PM

Beautiful poem. Lovely imagery too. I hope to see more of your work!

¤ ¢H@§ïÑg RåIñ ¤

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-06-11 01:41 AM

Another beautiful piece!
I enjoyed this one a lot!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Julian L. Chester
Member

since 2001-06-05

Posts 50

5 posted 2001-06-11 02:50 AM

hi
this poem is excellent if it was up to me it would be a 4 star. keep it up and if u would like to talk then let me know or email me ok bye

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

6 posted 2001-06-15 04:48 PM

beautiful write. Very much enjoyed read. keep it up

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Maree, Mic

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