Teen Poetry #4 |
i am a constant |
Godsend_1 Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247great state of illinois |
personally i think that one kinda sux but oh well enjoy i am a constant never changing always here never leaving always near i am a constant not a variable loving my people as greatest friends always close by i am a constant never gone i am a constant always here i am a constant changing never i am a constant forget confomity i am a BEN never gone i am a BEN here for you all i am a BEN never to far away leaving you never i am BEN i am a constant i am you i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be. |
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© Copyright 2001 Ben Redshaw - All Rights Reserved | |||
DarkAngelOfTheStars Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 255 |
aww this was cute nice job made me smile Dont knock on deaths door ...... ring the bell and run......he hates that |
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Evylyn Junior Member
since 2001-06-04
Posts 20Florida, USA |
Wow! Very "in your face" type of writing, I must say. *Loves it* Excellent piece. (If you consider this to suck, I wonder what your good poems would be...) ;oP "The only thing that boggles the mind is the mind itself." |
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Dr. Jo-Bizz Member
since 2001-06-06
Posts 97 |
good use of repitition. aww.. my ben is cool... he's great. I think God is the only thing I could truly call a constant though... cause humans by their very nature are prone to failure at some point. *hugs* dr. jo-bizz But His word was in my heart |
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Godsend_1 Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247great state of illinois |
lol jo i aint talking about how i am a constant as in how i act i fail but i will always return and i will always be there for ya glad ya like it all and i thank you for the kind words ben redshaw the great out!! i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Nice work Ben. Different but good in a lot of ways. ~AF~ Just because I hear voices doesn't mean I'm crazy...SHUT UP IN THERE!!! |
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katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
hehe cute. i think... and what do you mean this sucks i liked it. fate can only take you so far, the rest is up to you |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
I really liked this. Very honest piece. Great work Ben. REgina |
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lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
this is ok..but i think its alil too choppy, and i know thats how its sopossed to be..but i dunno lol, but it makes sence!!! *KiMMiE* |
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holatuwol Member
since 2001-04-27
Posts 72California, USA |
Okay... now this poem makes me continually think of my programming language class... all the mention of constants and variables and whatnot. --; In another light, it reminds me of chemistry, which then leads off into all sorts of tangents which this poem seems to also lightly touch, though not in major depth... Anyway, the major image of this poem when I was reading was turning moebius... x_X Do not ask why I saw that image, I just saw it and I will not explain it beyond that. ^_^;; However, I can see why you say the poem sucks... the words are powerful, but the emotion that seems to drive them is somewhat weak and I could barely detect it... The words were strong in essence, but I didn't feel that different after reading it. ^^; The impact seemed to be so light and faint as compared to your other ones, and so I put this one pretty close to the bottom of my list of your poems... the ones you wrote awhile ago were better... this one just doesn't really compare. ^_^ I still thought it was good... just not as good as some of your others. ^_^ hehehe Until next time... - holatuwol |
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never_a_princess Member
since 2001-06-09
Posts 82Show Me the Money |
heya mr. bennerz~ haha..it does NOT suck..not one o' the best but not terrible..anyways..look at my dimented cat icon! *YaY* lol..ok, i'm done now..*hugz and junk* ~yeah, you know who this is, so...bye-bye *waves* |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I really didn't think the last line made any sense.......you are me? huh? Can you explain that.....if you are constantly BEN....how can you be ME aswell.....wouldn't that shift who you are and thus defy the whole idea of being constant? Unless you are saying you are constantly ME AND YOU, and if you mean "YOU" as a whole and not "Me" as an individual then you're obviously implying "YOU" as a general identification. So...BEN IS CONSTANTLY EVERYBODY....is that it? I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Godsend_1 Member
since 2001-04-19
Posts 247great state of illinois |
ok ya kinda got it jav the last line means this to me at least yall can see it as you wish the poem is about me but its also about being an individual and when i say i am you i mean that everyone is a "ben" cuz i mean ben not as me but as a person who doesnt change a person who is there for the friends and stuff ya get it i know its kinda out ther ebut oh well ben redshaw the great out!! i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be. |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
i thought this poem was cute although i dont think anyone or anything is truely constant..or atleast not with my experiences. Cute poem tho |
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the_rescue Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316Japan |
nice write man good job that's basically me too, I may fall for a bit but I'm always back up and in your face lol so to speak. in the silence of the night I hear angels voices singing your name oh how beautiful is your name as they sing over and over. (SPOKEN) |
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MoeRocko Member
since 2001-04-25
Posts 166West Virginia |
Ben, this SUCKED so Bad! I don't even know why you're in this club. HaHa Great post Benji. Your Pal, Ewok Will It matter in the end? |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
This is a good read. powerful piece and thoughts. keep it up hi Sweets, Kris, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Mare |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Woah, kick butt......I actually semi-got it! GOooooooooo me!!! *does the happy dance* well now that I know the meaning as you explained it...I like the meaning. Well done here! |
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punkrockerrobin
since 2001-05-15
Posts 1180Sparks, NV |
lol javi you're so funny! my ben!!!!!!! me lovers you! you my budy! i likes! good poem! robin |
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