»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
Child Abuse (Version 2)
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
Child Abuse (Version 2) |
|
|
Captivating1 Junior Member
since 2001-06-07
Posts 15Houston, TX |
This version has a happier ending than the previous version of Wendy that was deleted from Piptalk. I really do apologize for the content of the previous version of Wendy. It was not meant to condone suicide in any way. I received a few personal emails from people experiencing some of the things in my poem and I was able to let them know that there are other ways out of situations like Wendy's. I looked at it as a way of helping...again I apologize if I've offended anyone. Wendy Poor Wendy never been seen, On the inside I mean, She used to be loving, beautiful, and sweet, Now all you can see are the bruises from where she’s been beat, “Stop honey what did she do?” “Shut up before I hit you too!” Broken heart, black eye, And all Wendy can do is sit in her room and cry, “Why is my life so terrible? What have I done?”, she asks as she reaches for her daddy’s gun, “You’ve done nothing wrong” a faint whisper says to her, “Well then why am I crying? And why does it hurt? “I understand my child I can see your pain, but it is the evil actions of others that are to blame.” “Well what can make this stop, how do I make this all go away?” “First, put down the gun, and kneel awhile to pray.” “I've tried that, but it keeps happening over and over again.” “Maybe you should not pray alone, but instead with a friend.” “No, I can’t tell anyone I’m just too afraid.” “You must tell someone to help ease the pain…” “What if no one believes and they think that it is not true?” “They wont my child, this I promise you.” “Will you be with me when I confess all that has been done?” “Yes, always, now please put down the gun…” “Oh Lord I want this to end I can’t take it anymore.” Wendy puts down the gun and courageously opens the door. Sincerely, -Captivating1 [This message has been edited by Captivating1 (edited 06-08-2001).] |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Robbie Smith - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
the_rescue Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316Japan |
alright I have to say sorry to all the other poems but this is the best one I have read so far, it's very seldom a poem will really speak to you, will really say something to your soul. I loved the way you did this her inner struggles, and then the love that was protrayed by(I'm guessing and hope) God it was so awesome. Very Very good description and such, definately a piece for my library and I hope to see some more of your stuff thanx. The Rescue in the silence of the night I hear angels voices singing your name oh how beautiful is your name as they sing over and over. (SPOKEN) |
||
|
anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
WOW! Could this be anymore intense?! I don't think so! The way it was written is so out there that you just want to keep reading it. Excellent work.  ~AF~ Just because I hear voices doesn't mean I'm crazy...SHUT UP IN THERE!!! |
||
|
Captivating1 Junior Member
since 2001-06-07
Posts 15Houston, TX |
Rescue - Thanks so much for the kind words...and yes the faint whisper is God:-) AF- I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I'll keep writing as long as you keep reading:-) |
||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
i liked this as i really liked your previous ones...indeed intense writing ...hope to see more...bye  i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
||
|
CwboyAtHeart Senior Member
since 2001-04-14
Posts 541Selah, WA, USA |
All that I can say is wow... That was really strong... I know people that are struggling with this, and that I also know people who don't think that anybody would believe them if they told anybody. Great way to make people realize that suicide isn't the only way out, because it's not. I really enjoyed the read... Very, very, very intense. - Cody - If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!! If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid? [This message has been edited by CwboyAtHeart (edited 06-08-2001).] |
||
|
Raven Skye Member
since 2001-03-03
Posts 112.In a House. |
Child abuse, physically and verbally, both are horrible things to have to go through. If anyone needs to talk about it, I'm here. Just email me. But then again, this poem is just beautiful in every way. Keep up the awesome work! *×´¨`·.×*Raven Skye*×´¨`·.×* |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well done here! The ending was great because she chose the braver way and not the stupid way. If Wendy was real I'd congratulate her. Good job writing this!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
|
fearing-laughter Senior Member
since 2001-04-24
Posts 605land of cheese (Wisconsin) |
wow, i think i like this one a lot better then the last. ahh my eyes are all blurry, and trust me, it takes a lot for me to cry. this one hit my soft spot tho :-) thanks for the read Captivating1. keep sharing your awesome poems. -fear- |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
