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Teen Poetry #4
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Weekend Song
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Weekend Song |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC 
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This one is a little influenced from Sublime and Bouncing Souls( I doubt anyone knows who they are). This is supposed to sound like a Punk song. It still needs a chorus. Every morning I wake up Can’t clear the cobwebs from my mind Stagger through another day Just a slave to the grind Work a 9 to 5 And crash from 5 to 9 4 more days till Friday Then I know that I’ll be fine Won’t look to the future Can’t remember the past What the hell happened this weekend Don’t know but it was a blast I saw a guy throw up I saw a guy throw down Landlord wants me out of my house Cops want me out of town My entire house is thrashed Broken bottles on the floor Cigarette burns on the rug And the cops kicked down my door Kids are running everywhere Things are getting out of hand Found 2 girls underneath my bed Trying to escape the man The things we did were wrong I know we don’t have the right But it was all just too much fun I can’t wait for Saturday night "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
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| © Copyright 2001 Jon - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
you wrote very well...on this subject...great job  ...i liked it...and ummm isnt...bouncing souls some "underground"...anyways...bye jon  i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you? |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Great job here! I liked it. It's not your best, but still a good read keoni!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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the_rescue Member
since 2001-05-23
Posts 316Japan |
alright just to let you know you have a chorus if you just repeat a stanza lol I write stuff all the time along the lines of punk songs. so here's your chorus Won’t look to the future Can’t remember the past What the hell happened this weekend Don’t know but it was a blast it basically sums up the theme really, life kicks live for today don't worry about tomorrow and forget your past. anyways peace out The Rescue in the silence of the night I hear angels voices singing your name oh how beautiful is your name as they sing over and over. (SPOKEN) |
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keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
Thanks guys, Dopey you are right it isn't my best. The subject was brought up and I came up with this. Besides, I was at work when I wrote it so it's all cool. And albert, Bouncing Souls are a punk band from New Jersey.They're awesome! Rescue- that's a perfect chorus, thanks. I'm gonna use it. Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine "Only God can judge me" Tupac Shakur [This message has been edited by keoni (edited 06-06-2001).] |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
I love when i get influenced by listening to music...great job..keep up the good work! |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
Punker rock!!!! ooops sorry had my outburst of the day....hehehe I love sublime! lol Not your best Jon but still some good stuff. REgina |
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