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Teen Poetry #4
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exhilarant seasons
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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exhilarant seasons |
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DreadedLiver Member
since 2001-01-23
Posts 56Alter, Ego |
hm...this one goes out to the one I love (r.e.m. song) no real hidden depth, other than the first two stanzas... they are about my mind racing and thinking of her. I hope you like it. "exhilarant seasons": mind thrusts away, leaving emotional skids. racing another day. right, left, around it went. moods pendulate, up and down like a swing. with these thoughts, you’ve cooked of spring. some spring days, your pupils blossom out. some other times, your lips ripen from drought. summer transpires, rainbows create your hair. and vivid scenes, of eyes’ glint soon appear. but winter-time. it persuades pretty things. such things as, your halo, and your wings. hastily happening, i transfix on your scene. just as I did, first time from your mien. -J. Knightfellow "If you had a choice to believe in yourself, or another person, who would it be?" |
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| © Copyright 2001 Jesper A. Knightfellow - All Rights Reserved | |||
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katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
this is a great poem! |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Quite a lovely piece you have written here DreadedLiver. The first two stanzas are quite descriptive which sets off a path for the rest of the piece. This stanza was stunning: "summer transpires, rainbows create your hair. and vivid scenes, of eyes’ glint soon appear." I can't forget about those lines now you realise. Thankyou.  ~AF~ "Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." Buddha |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
"summer transpires, rainbows create your hair. and vivid scenes, of eyes’ glint soon appear. but winter-time. it persuades pretty things. such things as, your halo, and your wings." What more can I say? most beautiful thoughts I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Pixie-Babe03 Member
since 2000-08-29
Posts 387Central Maine |
this is beautiful great imagery-=Love starts with a SMILE, grows with a KISS, and ends with a TEAR=- |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
very nicely done.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
very nicely done. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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AniKay83 Member
since 2000-06-28
Posts 388Missing Since 1999 |
Beautiful poem, I dig the mix of love and seasons. "Hearts will become practical when they make them unbreakable" ~The Wizard of Oz Much love all, Krissie |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
wow, your comparison of her through seasons you really created a sense of love in the air... this piece was very well composed... i cant wait to read more of you, your prolly one of my favorite poets here, keep it up! ~JDR "Is it love in my gut, or piss in my bladder?" -Allan Riverwood |
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sweetypie5 Member
since 2000-10-06
Posts 97MWC,OK,USA |
Wowzers!!! I like how you used similies and stuff like that!!! It was really good and you expressed urself really well!!! Good job and keep writing! ~LOVE~ *~*S*T*E*P*H*A*N*I*E*~* *~*Hope is a walking dream*~* *~*Don't take life too seriosly~~~you'll never get out alive*~* |
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