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fozzyozzy
Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

0 posted 2001-06-04 10:03 PM

We Stand(ing)

We stood  (I seperate)
We stood while men prayed to God
To spare them from a chastising rod
And harkened back to a peaceful time
Where life bittersweet lemon and lime

We stand  (I seperate)
We stand to salute those for our land
Died by the burning enemie's silent hand
Knowing not why we battle-hardened cry so
Our tears douse the flame of a loveless widow

With unblinking eyes we(I) can glare
(is it not me?)
And raise the flag where others dare
(these stars and stripes I see?)

Gracious lord! Fireworks more!
(This a symbol of my soul?)
May God hide from our power evermore!
(I am me not part of whole.)
(Tell them what they died fighting for!)
Thy life is...
(As it stands. Nothing more)
--------------------
I wrote this with a performance piece in mind.  The parantheses are anothers person's lines. Like I need to tell you mad poet people that.

"The heart can think of no devotion
Greater than being shore to ocean
Holding the curve of one position
Counting an endless repetition"
Robert Fr

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

1 posted 2001-06-04 10:36 PM

It was an excellent idea writing a preformance piece....i really enjoyed it! thanks for sharing

pharon
Member

since 1999-11-13

Posts 251
alabama

2 posted 2001-06-04 11:45 PM

great job on this one...i can see it in my head...and it looks good!

me

Meggie1986
Junior Member

since 2001-05-22

Posts 41
California

3 posted 2001-06-04 11:48 PM

Very nice~ Another fantastic poem! I love this piece a whole lot.

*One meets his destiny often in the road he takes to avoid it.

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-06-05 07:54 PM

I really liked this one! The ending was quite powerful. Wowness. Well done here!! I loved it!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

stace_co2003
Member

since 2001-03-30

Posts 497
In a dream world

5 posted 2001-06-08 09:33 PM

I liked this piece. the paranthesis add to it, and create a cool effect. keep writing.

I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again.

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

6 posted 2001-06-11 01:09 PM

Really admirable read. You wrote this really good. keep em coming my friend.

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Maree, Mic

DarkAngelOfTheStars
Member

since 2001-04-21

Posts 255

7 posted 2001-06-11 03:06 PM

reallu nice i liked it!

Dont knock on deaths door ...... ring the bell and run......he hates that

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