Teen Poetry #4 |
The Path I Tread |
fozzyozzy Member
since 2001-03-15
Posts 336Lessburg Virginia |
The Path I Tread Save your tears I'm not one to cry for Give me love; pity no more My life needs no reprise But I reconsider When I see the tears in your eyes This is the path I tread It's something you fear I succeed where need be So shed no tear Over the likes of me This lonely road Again....this lonely crow To deposit my soul upon a road where travellers Travel no more; and Samaritans Have nothing to weep for dead trees swing scratching sovereign placements The clouds themselves laugh down Why dost thou cry? This place is perfect for I This is the road I traverse Thus traversed before Give me love;pity no more You sob like a candle on fire And it's of your burning wax I tire! I shall step highly in my dead land(cactus land) With brambles cutting(deep) my every hand It's MY blood In this dead land,your tears Create my mud Are you not frightened? it was Her that scared and She who despaired Have you neither YOu should never touch me Pity me more; love will make Me go crazy Your substitute(sympathy)(empathy) In my dead land my hollow hills Through which is the path Only I tread______________________to death... "The heart can think of no devotion |
||
© Copyright 2001 Sean Michael DeFlora - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well done......the ending was amazing. I love the pause too...but the built up to the ending was great great! Wow, you really did well with this one. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Wow!!! Very well written and obviously thought of. As already said, the pause in the end gave it more of a stronger impact. keep it up hi Sweets, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Allan, Val, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Maree, Michele, |
||
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
I'll just echo my guys |
||
xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Amazing!!!! |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |