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Teen Poetry #4
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To Depict Troubled Adolescence: The Summer We Flew
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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To Depict Troubled Adolescence: The Summer We Flew |
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Deranger Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 498Somewhere, between here and there |
Perhaps a quick note is due: I would give anything if i could say, this is fantasy. But, it's just another explaination of what's wrong with me. To Depict Troubled Adolescence: The Summer We Flew ‘cross the street; sweltering summer heat Keeps you in doors – skip, trip and she’s on the floor Trying so hard to ignore, what’s she’s done to her life Yeah, nobody likes the fact, she sells herself every night But this world ain’t that bad; they say everything’s alright I’m taking to myself, ‘cause nobody seems to understand I could tell it was, summertime, by the bruises on her hand And we’ve all wondered, what it be, like if there were- No more me—would the lights still shine just as brightly? And she asks quietly,” You think this drop could kill me?” She’s whispers to me, how she, always dreamt of flying I wanted her to be free, but I couldn’t live if she left me So she said, “this place is so boring, you wanna fly with me? We ran beneath those bright lights, it seems we ran so long I think we’re alone now; can’t see no one else around We talked for hours; spoke of our dreams gone aground And where’d we rather be, and how much it hurt to be here She kept her head down, all the next day, we’re not stupid- We knew what that meant, her father made a little money- At her expense, and how we’d all like to dispense, a little justice The police never paid us any attention; a small desert town Kids aren’t worth any consideration… And that day, she could hardly walk—we didn’t understand- How life could be this bad – she was the mother we never had So kind, no matter what happened to her; she endured so much torture She became my hero that day; if she could survive, then everything- Was ok. When she was locked in her house, she cried for, she couldn’t fly She figured, if you can’t fly you might as well, crash and burn Seven years later, we never learned what really happened To our mother, our best friend But we all know we’ll never be normal, again. ------------- As much as i detest being trendy...this will probably become a series. I feel concision at this point, on this topic, would be a sin. |
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| © Copyright 2001 Alexander Crino - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well done here Alex..I really liked this one a lot. Shows a lot of emotion within it. I liked it.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Child of the Stars
since 2000-09-07
Posts 1658Ann Arbor, MI |
So little replies, most likely because no one actually wants to see the truth that's in what you've written......moving piece you've got here, man..... ~Carly "Go outside and use your own eyes. You'll be surprised to see things you've never been taught..." |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
Wow, there's reality slapping you in the face. I'm glad you posted this, and I hope you continue. I was really moved by this...in more ways than one... Thank you. "...if you want love you must be love.." |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
you made me cry...and my heart ache.....this is amazing....painful to read and so so amazing...... my heart goes out to you  |
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Deranger Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 498Somewhere, between here and there |
Well, nobody said the truth was romantic. I thank you all for your replies, though, honestly I wrote this entirely for myself. As a consolation, maybe someone might get a glimpse of the darkness that is mine. I should be posting the next one soon, but...a small warning; it gets pretty crazy from here on in. Spreading insanity, one post at a time |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
That was sad but so beautifully written. Such different tragic circumstances happen in every different person daily. And all we can do is hope that the hurt just stops. I loved the read. I do hope it does become a series. hi Sweets, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Val, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Maree, Michel |
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DarkAngelOfTheStars Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 255 |
wow....so sad...but greatly written. I loved it. Dont knock on deaths door ...... ring the bell and run......he hates that |
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stace_co2003 Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497In a dream world |
lol, love the critique thing, but I like this poem. it's beautifully written and has a lot of emotion behind it. I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again. |
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Dr. Jo-Bizz Member
since 2001-06-06
Posts 97 |
wow. man, I dont know what to say... how terrible. you wrote about it well. .... dr. jo-bizz But His word was in my heart |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Just hang on a moment. I have to pick my jaw up off the ground and pop my eyes back in my head!!! The way this is written is so fresh, so different. Not many people in here write like this and you being the person who does it with such amazing expression is remarkable. You rule so much that this is going into my library. ~AF~ Just because I hear voices doesn't mean I'm crazy...SHUT UP IN THERE!!! |
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katherine Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Canberra Australia |
I have no idea what to say, I don't think i can say anything..... fate can only take you so far, the rest is up to you |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
This was an amazing piece. Very sad though. Very powerful imapct. Regina |
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lonely*soul Member
since 2001-04-05
Posts 396east haddam (moodus) ct :) |
i like muchos...tons of emotions in this i just cant help but stare in awe!! amazing job!! *KiMMiE* |
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