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Teen Poetry #4
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Junior Member
since 2001-05-17
Posts 18
Lost in my own world

0 posted 2001-05-31 08:56 AM



Now That You're Gone

Now that you're gone
And not in my arms
My moon doesn't shine
Quite as bright

Now that you're gone
And not by my side
I don't ever laugh
Qutie as loud

Now that you're gone
And not holding my hand
My world doesn't seem
Quite as right

Now that you're gone
And I'm all alone
My heart hasn't been
Quite as warm

Now that you're gone
You're still in my heart
But I still don't feel
Quite as loved.

**One of the most adventurous things left for us is to go to sleep. For no one can lay a hand on our dreams.**

© Copyright 2001 Renee - All Rights Reserved
stace_co2003
Member
since 2001-03-30
Posts 497
In a dream world
1 posted 2001-05-31 08:59 AM


awww, sweetie...give it some time.  

I like your poem. the flow was great, and I read it much like a song.

Stace

I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again.

~*brittt*~
Member
since 2001-05-09
Posts 76
East Haddam, CT
2 posted 2001-05-31 12:18 PM


All your poems I have read are so good.I liked this one alot.
~britt~

Dopey Dope
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Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
3 posted 2001-05-31 12:44 PM


I LOVED this one. So straight forward, but deep. Your conclusion rocked. i really loved the ending in this poem. I know exactly how this feels. It's as if you stole the thoughts from my mind.
Well done....awesome joB!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymous albert ?
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

4 posted 2001-05-31 04:43 PM


awesome poem...the repition worked well...quite deep  ...i enjoyed this poem greatly...hope to see more soon...bye

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 05-31-2001).]

LoneWolf
Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384
IL
5 posted 2001-05-31 05:32 PM


Wow i loved this poem. its great. i can relate to everything you said. it's going to my library

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.
I've learned that even when you th

Allan Riverwood
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502
Winnipeg
6 posted 2001-06-01 12:01 PM


This is good!  Impressive how you formatted it, similarities in the beginning of lines.  
I thought that was very creative, nice work!
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

xShUgArHiGhx
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Member Elite
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
7 posted 2001-06-06 09:35 PM


This was so sad....but very well written ::hugs::
baby0508
Member
since 2001-05-16
Posts 58
Moodus, Connecticut
8 posted 2001-06-07 11:34 AM


i definatly know how you feel..i'm going through this right now and it's not fun at all. i hope things work out for the best.


DarkAngelOfTheStars
Member
since 2001-04-21
Posts 255

9 posted 2001-06-07 12:50 PM


nice job here   i hope things work out

Dont knock on deaths door ...... ring the bell and run......he hates that

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