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punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

0 posted 2001-05-31 01:35 AM

i hope you notice that i love you.
i am here for you in whatever way i can be.
i hope you will notice
that my revolves around you.
i hope you notice.

i know it won't be easy,
please lets give it a try.
you and me together at last.
i tell you i love you.
but you do not notice.

i want to be held in your arms.
i want to cry on your shoulder.
i want to kiss your lips.
but still you do not notice.

i've tryed so much.
i just hope you notice.

robin

I AM WHAT I AM SO DEAL!

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-05-31 01:40 AM

a sad situation...you expressed it well

...hope things turn out for the best...bye

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 05-31-2001).]

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

2 posted 2001-05-31 01:41 AM

oops!..i thinkyou missed a word rob!..

that (world?) my revolves around you.
but if you meant it like that then smack me up the side of my head and tell me to shove it!...heheh...cute poem...i like the way it was so sincere....

...keep posting i want to see more from you..

"Life is not long and boring,
it's short and compelling." -Javier Agosto-

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2001-05-31 02:43 AM

Yes, of course I notice

Well done on the poem. I thought it was sweet.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

stace_co2003
Member

since 2001-03-30

Posts 497
In a dream world

4 posted 2001-05-31 10:10 AM

Robin, I like this. it's good. I hope things turn out OK for you. *hugs*

Stace

I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again.

zarina
Member

since 2001-05-19

Posts 180

5 posted 2001-05-31 11:08 AM

I liked the poem. Hope everything works out for you.. good luck

punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

6 posted 2001-05-31 06:22 PM

sorry dopey but this poem ain't for you hun. it's for you know who. ok lata!
robin

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

7 posted 2001-06-01 11:34 AM

I like the flow to this one. It read through to an intriguing rhythm. I especially like the use of repitition in the starts of some lines, and in phrases like "I hope you notice."
I think you did a very good job on this poem, your technique did wonders for the tone.
Nice work.