You were wrong - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

KeLicious
New Member

since 2001-05-24

Posts 9
PA, USA

0 posted 2001-05-30 06:57 PM

"You Were Wrong"

I wasn't your first choice
but you took me anyway.
You've wrapped me around your finger
and now im here to stay.

You've taken advantage of me
in all the little things you do;
but I was blind to all of this,
because I loved and trusted you.

And now I look back and realize
all the pain you have casued.
And I ask myself sincerely,
"Would he really be such a loss?"

So I say this to you now,
I have once loved you,
but the love was never returned...
and therfore it wasn't true.

So goodbye, my love, I hope
you realize what you've done wrong
but as for me, my will to love
will always keep me strong.

n e where
Junior Member

since 2001-05-30

Posts 32
Australia

1 posted 2001-05-30 07:01 PM

I really love this poem
Its something that i went thru too

Good stuff

keep the pen flowing

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

2 posted 2001-05-30 07:28 PM

good writing

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

3 posted 2001-05-30 07:48 PM

overall i really liked this poem...great ending and written well

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

[This message has been edited by anonymous albert ? (edited 05-30-2001).]

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

4 posted 2001-05-30 08:31 PM

this was really good. i liked it. sorry about your situation (or however u spell it!)

fall hard, practice harder not to fall

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

5 posted 2001-05-31 02:13 AM

Well done here. I really like dthe way you did this. Very unfortunate situation, but not that uncommon. Hope you get through it good.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

6 posted 2001-05-31 02:15 AM

hahaha..you told the story of my love life hahaha...great job on this poem though...you expressed the situation really really well..

..keep posting!

"Life is not long and boring,
it's short and compelling." -Javier Agosto-

stace_co2003
Member

since 2001-03-30

Posts 497
In a dream world

7 posted 2001-05-31 10:33 AM

wow, you go!!

I like this poem cuz I can really relate.
this deserves two...

Stace

I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again.

zarina
Member

since 2001-05-19

Posts 180

8 posted 2001-05-31 11:13 AM

I liked the poem, and I really know how that feels..

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

9 posted 2001-06-01 11:36 AM

Nice work, the ending was well-thought out and everything but somehow I felt you were introducing a new concept to the poem that was not drawn in other places... just a personal opinion.

No need to read too much into my words, just something that I noticed.
Overall this had a good flow because the formatting was simple. I appreciate how you did that, I think this poem is fine as it is but it could be worked on just a tad.

~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

LCsftball16
Junior Member

since 2001-05-17

Posts 39

10 posted 2001-06-01 06:18 PM

hey kel! great poem!! can't wait to read more! luv ya cya laterz!!!

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

11 posted 2001-06-03 02:18 AM

This is so my life story....amazing! Its like you went inside my head an pulled out a personal poem lol...oyy hun i think you did the right thing...good poem...i really enjoyed it

Shygirl82
Member

since 2001-02-19

Posts 245
Ilinois

12 posted 2001-06-03 03:19 AM

Wow excellent poem...I related to it very well as many other people did. I hope you know you did the right thing and its good that you realize you are better off without. Hugs to you and hope all gets better.
~Nikki~

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

13 posted 2001-06-06 07:51 PM

seems really tragic, but also seems like you know what there is for you to do. That is always good. Thanks for sharing, i loved the read. keep it up

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Val, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Maree, Michel

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.