Teen Poetry #4 |
Detached |
Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
Feeling like I'm merely floating, Existance while wandering aimlessly. Never sure why I'm here, Always feeling just slightly incomplete. Vague mornings, Never ending nights. Hazy all around, Difficult to see through a dense fog. Waiting to awaken, Paused, needing clear vision; a path. What is left to do? Holding my breath may not be so wise... [This message has been edited by Jenn Cirrincione (edited 01-25-2001).] |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
No Jenn, holding your breath is not wise at all What you need to do is take a deep breath then face whatever is put infront of you It all depends on us whether we want to see what surrounds us or not keep strong I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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~sugarpie313~ Member
since 2000-09-14
Posts 375Maine, USA |
This is good, but remember that it is not wise at all to not put our best foot forward. Even through things we dont' want to face. Keep smilin girl!!! lol ~Valerie~ *...Remember your roots, my friend they're right down below, because heroes come and heroes go...* - Creed |
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anomaly187 Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 284San Francisco,CA,US |
this is an amazing post! i really loved the style and content of it..i think everyone at some point feels like the things you described...great work "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro" |
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jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
i loved these lines of wisdom: "Vague mornings, Never ending nights. Hazy all around, Difficult to see through a dense fog." That really captured an image in my head... Id use the word imagery but its used to much... how about a picturesque poem? Nevertheless, i loved this one a lot... one of your best!! ~JDR "Is it love in my gut, or piss in my bladder?" -Allan Riverwood |
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IsGona Senior Member
since 2000-07-14
Posts 723 |
yeah I agree with Jermey (that's twice to night... geez) you painted a clear picture here (or should I say a foggy, hazy one)... you know what I mean. And the poem really speaks to me. I think you really "allow" the reader to relate to this poem. Nice work ~Jason "Every body has their destiny... I'LL CHOOSE MY OWN ~Hatebreed~ |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I have a headache......and the blur of the screen isn't doing any good either. Nice poem here, I like it very much. I think this whole detached feeling is kinda sad, but hey......don't hold yer breath like acire said...bad idea. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I'm in love with my shadow I admire it daily |
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