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Teen Poetry #4

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fozzyozzy
Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

0 posted 2001-05-28 09:35 PM

Sunshine(Not Really)

Blessed moon and forgotten chariot
You still set the sky ablaze
Through storms through snow and
My soul; you still shine the sun
Forward onto my pathand
When day's done your comfort
You retreat my heart broken
Each piece reflecting your light
And blinding you to yourself

"The heart can think of no devotion
Greater than being shore to ocean
Holding the curve of one position
Counting an endless repetition"
Robert Fr

© Copyright 2001 Sean Michael DeFlora - All Rights Reserved

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

1 posted 2001-05-28 09:40 PM

wow...this is a really profound and thought-provoking piece!...short but reat..keep up with the posts!!..

"Life is not long and boring,
it's short and compelling." -Javier Agosto-

anonymous albert ?

Deputy Moderator 1 Tour

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

2 posted 2001-05-28 09:51 PM

great poem!...i liked it a lot

...thanks for the read...and keep writing

...?

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

pharon
Member

since 1999-11-13

Posts 251
alabama

3 posted 2001-05-28 11:29 PM

good job on this one!

me

Dopey Dope

Deputy Moderator 1 Tour

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

4 posted 2001-05-29 02:13 AM

Well done, but not your best.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

5 posted 2001-05-30 06:29 AM

Although it isn't the best piece you have put up here, the imagery is brilliant.

Good job.

~AF~

Life is a mystery to be lived, not a problem to be solved."
-Van Kaam

Acies

Deputy Moderator 1 Tour

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Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

6 posted 2001-06-02 05:13 PM

One of your better ones I think.
awesome job
~*applauds*~

I'm so sorry for doubting you Kit ... please forgive me!!!!

Deranger
Member

since 2000-05-10

Posts 498
Somewhere, between here and there

7 posted 2001-06-02 06:53 PM

I thought your imagery and word choice were excellent. Profound work.

Remember for who the poet writes.

Spreading insanity, one post at a time

My skull has glowing green eyes!

xShUgArHiGhx

Deputy Moderator 10 Tours

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Deputy Moderator 1 Tour

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

8 posted 2001-06-02 06:56 PM

This was so beautifully written, i really enjoyed it. Short and sweet

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