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Zengo
Junior Member

since 2001-05-27

Posts 31
Rogersville, AL

0 posted 2001-05-27 04:19 AM

Thee Uncatchable Star
Written for and dedicated to Amanda Richard

Oh how I pray for thee to be mine,
Oh how I wish for thee to be mine,
Oh how I love thee with all my heart,
Why can't thee be mine...........

Is it because thee is already star stuck for another,
Is it true thee uncatchable star is already obtained by another,
Is it true thee will always be with another,
Why can't thee be mine...........

Oh how I dream to obtain thee,
Oh how I dream to hold thee,
Oh how I dream to kiss thee,
Why can't thee be mine...........

Is it true that all the love in my heart will never be known,
Is it true that after all the years my love will evade thee,
Is it true that thee uncatchable star will remain free,
Why can't thee be mine...........

But thee is happy now and my love will remain inside,
Thee happiness is more important than I..............

LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

1 posted 2001-05-27 09:01 AM

Welcome to Passions!!

This is a wonderful first post. I especally love the last lines. Indeed, if you love someone, their happiness is more important to you than your own. I hope to see more of your work here soon! Thanks for sharing.

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

vixengrl04
Member

since 2001-04-26

Posts 495
East Haddam, CT

2 posted 2001-05-27 11:36 AM

WELCOME TO PASSIONS!! I like this post, but think that maybe you overused "thee" too much. It was good though, hope to see more.

~*Nikki*~

~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~

Tamma

Senior Member

since 2000-01-17

Posts 794
In His Arms, Harpers Ferry, WV

3 posted 2001-05-27 12:02 PM

Welcome to Passions!
Hope to see you post more!

Those girls on TV don't know that being
36-24-36 doesn't mean a thing unless
you got the face to back it up

Zengo
Junior Member

since 2001-05-27

Posts 31
Rogersville, AL

4 posted 2001-05-27 03:59 PM

Thanks for all the input guys. That was my first poem. I've never wrote anything like this in my life before. But there just something about this girl that makes me crazy and one day I was in front of the computer and it just came out. Maybe one day I'll catch her. Maybe in the next 13th years...

Nick

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

5 posted 2001-05-27 07:25 PM

welcome welcome welcome to passion...this was a beautiful first post and hope to see more of you around...thanks for sharing and hope to see more

...?

i'm addicted to passions in poetry!...are you?

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

6 posted 2001-05-28 12:53 PM

Welcome to Passions!
This was a beautiful first post! I really enjoyed this one and hope to se eyou post more in the future!

Check your e-mail for a special message!

Dopey_Dope/Moderator

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

7 posted 2001-05-28 11:57 AM

Welcome to Passions! The land of milk bottles and coconuts.

You've written an excellent piece to make a splash in here with. The thee's got to me after a while but that's just my stupid mind.

I'll look forward to many more of your pieces and your hundreds of replies.

~AF~

Know what you want. Become your real self.
~ David Harold Fink ~

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

8 posted 2001-05-28 12:27 PM

welcome to passions!!

i actually thought the "thee" adds something different and unique to the poem...i enjoyed this better with the "thee" absolutely

Child of the Stars

Senior Member

since 2000-09-07

Posts 1658
Ann Arbor, MI

9 posted 2001-05-28 01:45 PM

Welcome to Passions...
Kickin' first post. Your style is unique, and because of that you have my respect. Be sure to keep posting.
~Carly

"Go outside and use your own eyes. You'll be surprised to see things you've never been taught..."
~Edouard Manet

stace_co2003
Member

since 2001-03-30

Posts 497
In a dream world

10 posted 2001-05-28 02:45 PM

Welcome to passions!!!!

it's a wonderful first post...but I agree that maybe you used thee too much. but otherwise, it's great, and I hope to hear more from you soon!!

*s*
Stace

I'm just glad that now this rainstorm has ended, and I can see the rainbow once again.

Kosetsu
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 450
Alabama, USA

11 posted 2001-05-28 06:11 PM

Hey, welcome to Passions. This was great, as others before me have said. I'm not sure on my stand on whether I like or dislike the big use of thee, so I'll let you decide. Anyway, it was a great poem, and I really know how ya feel. Keep it up pal,

-Kosetsu

"Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die." - Shakespeare

Zengo
Junior Member

since 2001-05-27

Posts 31
Rogersville, AL

12 posted 2001-05-28 06:21 PM

Thanks guys, I'm glad you liked it...Love can make you do magical things...Kosetsu where do you live?? I'm in Alabama too...

Thanks again,
Nick

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

13 posted 2001-05-29 12:53 PM

Welcome to Passions!!

hey nick, i'm glad you decided to join us here, i hope you keep sharing your work with us. very unique style here, very interesting read. keep posting and replying

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

knightlyshadows
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 791
obscured vision

14 posted 2001-05-29 01:25 PM

hmm i have no clue where Rogersville is,
but im in Huntsville.

WELCOME TO PASSIONS
and
great job on the poem. Hope you get her.

the title made me think of 'The Man of la Mancha'
for some reason..i think its that song
he sings but o well thats just me.
tiff

“A single choice can build destinies,or destroy them.”

Just leave me alone and give me some space.

[This message has been edited by knightlyshadows (edited 05-29-2001).]

Zengo
Junior Member

since 2001-05-27

Posts 31
Rogersville, AL

15 posted 2001-05-29 01:30 PM

Hey knightlyshadows, Rogersville is about 45 minutes from Huntsville....It's between Florence and Athens....Nice to meet you...Thanks for the input...

Nick

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

16 posted 2001-05-29 11:20 PM

Nice work, yes.  I like how you used "Thee" in certain places where it could have been a homonym.  (As "The.")
Welcome to Passions in Poetry.  Maybe take a bit of time to read and reply to some of the other poems in here, and you'll find a more vast response to yours.
Still, welcome.

~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

Isabel Galaxia
Senior Member

since 2000-06-18

Posts 733

17 posted 2001-05-30 09:33 PM

Wow that's great! Welcome to Passions...as if everyone else hasn't said that already

Bel

fozzyozzy
Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 336
Lessburg Virginia

18 posted 2001-05-30 10:04 PM

yo yo yo Wilkommst du zu Passions! Great 1st post(Das ist prima!!) Excuse my German. I have a test tomorrow.

Welcome to Passions where everyone knows your name! (cause its right next to the poem itself:-])

"The heart can think of no devotion
Greater than being shore to ocean
Holding the curve of one position
Counting an endless repetition"
Robert Fr

Meggie1986
Junior Member

since 2001-05-22

Posts 41
California

19 posted 2001-05-30 10:24 PM

This is a fantastic first post and I look forward to seeing much more of your work! Brillian poem! Welcome!

*One meets his destiny often in the road he takes to avoid it.

chasing rain
Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 737
Canada

20 posted 2001-05-30 10:38 PM

¡HOLA!
And welcome to passions! (How many times have you heard THAT already?

)
Anyway, I really thought your poem was pretty emotional. Great job on that! The "thee"'s also go to me a bit...a little too repetitive. But that's a little thing. Other than that, hope to see more of your work write away (haha, get it? *sigh* I'm so lame...)

~ ¢h@§ïÑg RåIñ

"If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that i was made for another world."
-C.S.Lewis

LoneWolf
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 384
IL

21 posted 2001-05-30 10:43 PM

hey, good job on the poem. i liked it a lot. hope to see more.

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.
I've learned that even when you th

cherish
Senior Member

since 2001-03-25

Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........

22 posted 2001-05-30 10:46 PM

CHERISH WELCOMES ZENGO

ahh...sorry for being so utterly ostentatious...*smacks the side of her head*
wow...great first post.....*is hungry for more*..more says i!!..hehehe..i loved this poem you expressed the wistfullness of wanting sumone who belongs to sumone else so well....awwww...*hugs*..great format too zen...youve managed to impress me...hahaha...

...oh my..i hope you post more very soon...!!!....oh and feel free to roam around here a bit...go check out sum of the other forums to get to know us better..

dopes...check yer mail...

"Life is not long and boring,
it's short and compelling." -Javier Agosto-

[This message has been edited by cherish (edited 05-30-2001).]

Zengo
Junior Member

since 2001-05-27

Posts 31
Rogersville, AL

23 posted 2001-05-30 11:32 PM

I'm so excited...Before I came here..A friend of mine got me on poetry.com about a month ago and I submitted the same poem and I got a letter in the mail from them today and I've been selected to be published in there new book. Some of you guys go over there and submit some your work too.

Thanks for the welcome,
Nick

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

24 posted 2001-06-04 10:45 PM

WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME!

Glad to have you here

great first post and i look forward to reading more from you

Acies

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-07

Posts 7665
Twilight Zone

25 posted 2001-06-08 11:12 AM

WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!

Great first post. Seems like everyone already admires you work. Glad you decided to join us here in Passions for Poetry. i do hope you enjoy reading as well as sharing your own poems. Enjoy

hi Sweets, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Val, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Maree, Michel

Zengo
Junior Member

since 2001-05-27

Posts 31
Rogersville, AL

26 posted 2001-06-09 10:33 PM

Thanks alot!!!

Nick

Fading Away

Member Elite

since 2001-03-14

Posts 3131
Lynchburg, Virginia

27 posted 2001-06-16 02:18 PM

Welcome to Passions in Poetry, Nick. I'm glad you decided to join us. This is a beautiful first post. It's a very sweet dedication. Thanks for sharing and I can't wait to read more!
Well done, here.

--Marie

"You're the girl of my nightmares, erotic and skull-faced.
Anorexic Beauty, feather-weight perfection. Anorexic Beauty, underweight goddess." --Pulp

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