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Godsend_1
Member

since 2001-04-19

Posts 247
great state of illinois

0 posted 2001-05-25 09:42 PM

ok this is supposed to be like that its supposed to give off the air that a little child wrote it about protection and all that so no criticizem on that fact that its all wrong in many numorous ways :d ben redshaw the great out

warm and cozy i am
cause i am sitting in me corner
a tight lil nitch
surrounding me
making me feel all safe
it is me lil corner
protecting me from badish stuff
making life seem all great
i sit in me lil corner
and fade away
to a place of wonderful dreams
oh so happy i am
sitting in me corner
cause i live here for eternity
so i had better be
happy in me lil corner

i am what i am and that is all that i am and all that i shall ever be..so deal with it
to make the world the greatest place is the perfect dream in

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

1 posted 2001-05-25 09:46 PM

i enjoyed the read...and no criticism here!...this corner is somewhere i go to many times but when i'm there i' sad...anyways...good job and keep writing...

...?

ahhhhh....i'm addicted to passions in poetry!!!!!

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

2 posted 2001-05-26 01:26 PM

The general message was fairly good but the way it was written just annoyed me.

Good job on it anyway.

~AF~

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
~ Unknown ~

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2001-05-26 08:20 PM

Oh hush liz.....haha geesh.....well I personally thought the way it was written added the WHOLE effect. It just HAD to be written like that, or it would have been right. I liked it but felt you could have added a bit more to it.