untitled...any suggestions?

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Teen Poetry #4

untitled...any suggestions?

baby0508
Member

since 2001-05-16

Posts 58
Moodus, Connecticut

0 posted 2001-05-24 11:48 AM

I love you
as you love me,
but as one
we cannot be.

We have drifted far from "us"
now it's only "me" and "you"
to seperate names we are now
and there is nothing I can do.

I only dream of days to come
when I'll have you there
and once again be in the arms
because I know you care.

I hope my dreams will fade away
just so they'll be real
so I can show you what I mean
when I tell you how I feel.

banburycross
Senior Member

since 2001-03-27

Posts 946
viginia

1 posted 2001-05-24 11:57 AM

such beautiful emotion, i really loved the last stanza of this poem. you are a very talented writer, i enjoy reading your work. keep sharing it with all of us here at passions

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

2 posted 2001-05-24 02:29 PM

It seems like all your recent work has had to do with one guy...i really hope things work out for you w/him. Stay strong and what is meant to be will happen

DarkSilver
Junior Member

since 2001-05-21

Posts 33
Six O'clock High!

3 posted 2001-05-24 02:33 PM

hmmmm... good poem. how about "Seperation?" as the title.

It doesn't matter who you are only who you serve. - Draken O'Larn, the Starwarrior Saga

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

4 posted 2001-05-24 04:07 PM

i liekd this poem...geraet job and the title..."dreams of you"...hehe...but yea...hope to see more...

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

5 posted 2001-05-24 05:03 PM

Well done on the poem. Sad situation. Hope it improves.

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

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