Teen Poetry #4 |
Blue Ribbon |
chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
I smile at you But it seems to go through Like you never meant To see it. Were you so blind To know in your mind That I'm but an Illusion to you. Blue ribbon Flows down into the sea Like it was never meant To be there. Softly touching The sand beneath Then vanishing before Your very eyes... I touch your hand To acknowledge your presence It all seems too grand For me. Were you so cold Or were you too bold To see that I was there An eternity? Blue ribbon Flows down into the sea Like it was never meant To be there. Softly touching The sand beneath Then vanishing before Your very eyes... I stare into your eyes Hoping to find some prize That'll match my faith In you. Were you so careless In thinking you were fearless Against everything I knew? Blue ribbon Flows down in the sea Like it was never meant To be there. Softly touching The sand beneath Then vanishing before Your very eyes... And finally you see That we are meant to be But I turn away From you. Didn't you even know That it was time I've flown Away from all The blue? Throw a grain Of sand in the sea Throw a blue ribbon In there for me. All I want Is for you to see... That I'm not an Illusion. "If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that i was made for another world." -C.S.Lewis [This message has been edited by chasing rain (edited 05-25-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 chasing rain - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
i liked where u were getting at but to be honest the flow just didnt work out for me...i enjoyed the read...hope to see more... ...? if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Personally, I liked this one....not as good as some of your others, but I really did like this one a lot. Well done, you are a talented writer. I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
The imagery was amazing. I could picture almost everything in my mind as i was reading. good job |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
Well, the flow might not be so great, but this too, is going to be a song, so I just wrote it to the tune in my head, so it might not make sense right now...sorry. |
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