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baby0508
Member

since 2001-05-16

Posts 58
Moodus, Connecticut

0 posted 2001-05-23 11:25 AM

This is not one of my best but hey...it came out like this...

Why won't my tears just stop?
why can't this pain just end?
I've not yet come to realize,
that i'm just another friend.

I'm lost within out memories,
they won't just fade away
I can see you in my mind
but can't hear a word you say.

You're an image i've produced
deep within my dreams
but when i wake i realize
it's nto what it may seem.

You are no longer there
so my pain cannot just end
and now i've come to realize,
that i'm just another friend.

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

1 posted 2001-05-23 11:27 AM

Oh, yeah, I totally understand this. The sitch is really sucky tho. I liked this, but as to a critique? I would say there are a few spelling errors. Just simple ones, but it would flow better if they were fixed. Overall, great writing.

Jenn

"If it's wrong to love you, then my heart just won't let me be right, cause I'm drowned in you, and I won't pull through without you by my side." Mari

TearsOfPearls
Member

since 1999-09-23

Posts 322
Vereeniging, South-Africa

2 posted 2001-05-23 01:35 PM

Wow, I though this poem was great, full of emotion and just fantastic...hope u feel etter soon

Planning big can be a gamble...I have already rolled the dice!

HeAvEnS AnGeL
Member

since 2001-05-17

Posts 168
The Hot Girl From Canada

3 posted 2001-05-23 03:50 PM

i totally understand
as we speak im going through this
it sux soo much

lonely*soul
Member

since 2001-04-05

Posts 396
east haddam (moodus) ct :)

4 posted 2001-05-23 04:37 PM

hey heather..this is great~~!! srry bout all that, this is an awsome poem...i feel for ya!
*KiMMiE*

anonymous albert ?

Member Elite

since 2001-03-23

Posts 2979

5 posted 2001-05-23 04:54 PM

awesome job on writing this poem...i felted the entire time i was reading it...very emotional...yet sincere...really liked the poem...thanks for sharing it...

...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

6 posted 2001-05-23 06:31 PM

Yea it sucks to just be friends. I know how this is. Well done though!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

Allan Riverwood

Member Elite

since 2001-01-04

Posts 3502
Winnipeg

7 posted 2001-05-24 12:24 PM

I did like this, to be honest. Seems like you were pretty concrete about it not being your best but I sincerely enjoyed reading it.

Being just friends can be better than you think, perhaps. Friends aren't something easily obtained, and they shouldn't be understated like this just because you want something more.
Be grateful to have friends.
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
~Unknown

xShUgArHiGhx

Member Elite

since 2000-09-26

Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs

8 posted 2001-05-24 02:26 PM

It definately sux to be just friends...trust me i've been there...but hopefully things will work out for the best ::hugs::

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