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Teen Poetry #4
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Olden Spirits Clinging Close
| Teen Poetry #4 |
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Olden Spirits Clinging Close |
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Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
Olden spirits clinging close, Venom dripping more each dose, Fires burning in my eyes, Quick as lightning, sharp as lies, Icy lances falling down, Strongest magic I have found, Chilling vengeance will be mine, Turning my foes into worthless swine. Healing winds please cure my friends, Holy forces my soul sends, Burning back the shrieking dark, Burning bright and shining stark. (Allan, see if you can guess this character) "No one holds command over me. No man. No god. No prince." [This message has been edited by Kosetsu (edited 05-21-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Adam Kamerer - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Terryloveiris_85 Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 61The middle of nowhere |
I absolutly loved this!  this is going in my library.~IRIS  i'd give eternity to be by your side-goo goo dolls/City of Angels soundtrack goodness is found in the heart, not the money. [This message has been edited by Terryloveiris_85 (edited 05-21-2001).] |
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Terryloveiris_85 Member
since 2001-04-23
Posts 61The middle of nowhere |
it might help if i push the library button! ~iris  i'd give eternity to be by your side-goo goo dolls/City of Angels soundtrack |
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obscurity of cloud Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 294....:::::******:::::.... |
This is absolutely incredible. I really loved the scene you painted here. Excellent work "so when at times the mob is swayed to carry praise or blame too far, we may choose something like a star" --Frost |
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banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
this is incredible writing and the flow of this piece is almost perfect. the only plca that it breaks off is the last line of the second stanzas, which has too many syllables. other than that this is perfect, i like this piece a lot. Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
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vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
This was really great and flowed so well. The only thing I can find that might be fixed is Icy lances falling down, Strongest magic I have found, Everything else rhymed perfectly. But it is really good. Thanks for sharing. ~*Nikki*~ ~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~ |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
The meter in here is excellent! I really like the second stanza, it reminded me of Warcraft. Was that what you were on about? I also noticed the "final fantasy"esque theme to the elements in here. Venom, fire, ice, lightning, holy, etc. Something about RPG really influenced this I feel, but were you specifically writing about one game or concept about RPG? I'm only just curious.  ~Allan Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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Kosetsu Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 450Alabama, USA |
Just picking up where I left off on the character poems. Any idea who this one is? There's only about one line that might really give it away. It's from Final Fantasy 4. Just guess. -Kosetsu "No one holds command over me. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well done on this one! Wow....it really flowed great! I liked this one a lot!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Meggie1986 Junior Member
since 2001-05-22
Posts 41California |
Very nice! I loved the way it flowed. It went together so well! Great job. |
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anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
great job...the flow...the way u wrote it...i enjoyed this alot...keep writing...  ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
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