»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
Sonnet???
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
Sonnet??? |
|
|
vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT 
|
Hey guys. This is my attempt at writing a sonnet (We're reading Romeo and Juliet in school and learning bout sonnets) but I know it's not really good. I was concentrating more on the form than the context, and I know not even the form is good!! But let me know how I can fix it please?? I also can't come up with a title, so feel free to suggest something. Thanks a bunch!  ~*Nikki*~ ____________________________________________________ I sit and gaze towards skies blue and bright, I watch the stars a' twinkling above me. A sight so calm it soothes my eyes tonight, Such wonders of the night my eyes shall see. The stars above, balls of burning fire. They flicker constantly, gleaming bright lights. My wishes shine, my burning desire. I no longer fear those dark dreary nights. Consuming beauty envelops my heart, I see my future up in the damp sky. I shall follow the stars, finish my start, With eyes closed, I will continue to try. Staring above I know this is my life, Must keep glowing, surrender the knife. |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Nikki - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Well done vixen! I really enjoyed this. I wouldn't know much about the form of a sonnet, let alone give you a title for a sonnet. ANyhow, I did like the content within it. Very well done!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
First of all, this is a beautiful poem. I really love the subject matter, I think more people need to read stuff like this! As for the sonnet form, you have the rhyme scheme down for Shakesperean, but the meter isn't exactly what it should be. Sonnets use something called iambic pentameter, which means that each line has 10 syllables, alternating stressed and unstressed. If you have any questions about this, you can e-mail me. I'm just starting on sonnets myself, and I'll be glad to help you out! Thanks for sharing.  "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli |
||
|
DarkSilver Junior Member
since 2001-05-21
Posts 33Six O'clock High! |
I'm pretending I like it. Just kidding! Actually I don't know much about different kinds of Poetry but I do know a good poem when I read one. A couple of strangly put words but very good. |
||
|
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
nikki!...this was great...i really liked the way u have wrote it...ur first attempt was a success!...i enjoyed this poem greatly...hope to see more...  ...?if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
||
|
Suga_Baby Member
since 2000-08-06
Posts 380Maine, USA |
This is great! Your format seems to be correct and it's WAY better than the one I had to write for class! awesome work  ,Suga "A dream is a wish your heart makes while you are fast asleep." |
||
|
banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
beautiful writing, i really like this. Erica already dealt with the format, so i'll leave that alone. for not concentrating on the content you wote this beautifully, i especially like the last couplet great jobSometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
~*stands up and applauds*~ beautiful words, I love it I know others will tell about types and styles of sonnets, but in my eyes, you've done really good. keep sharing hi Sweets, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Maree, Mic |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
