»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #4
»
My Place
| Teen Poetry #4 |
|
My Place |
|
|
cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... 
|
This is my place Full of anxieties, fears and frustrations. The transgression of the mean. A complex spectrum full of angry shades of grey. Wishing to be rushed along, swift and sure Like the train that takes me away in the day And catapults me back at night. Where things lie beneath the skin, And crawl behind my eyes. Where you see me cloistered in black Where I'm mourning the loss of me. Surrounded by nylon synthetic smiles, With carbonated,caffeine-free touches And polyester blended words. Where im slowly drowning- Drowning in the sea of energy contained Within a strong, waxed cardboard box This is my place Thanks but no thanks-Thank-you This place is mine This place is for me. |
||
| © Copyright 2001 cherish - All Rights Reserved | |||
anonymous albert ?
since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979 |
yaayyy!!!! its cherish...go cherish! go cherish! go go go..ok...*stops before it gets out of hand*  ...hehe...but w'sup glad u posting again  ...well on the poem i liked this...very different...but interesting...also enjoyable read as well...very discriptive and well discribed...awesome job...and hope to see more... i mean like right now!  ...cya~if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry" |
||
|
LoneWolf Member
since 2001-03-10
Posts 384IL |
Hey, i liked this one a lot. i enjoyed this one. very descriptive as albert said. so i liked it and good job. It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that. |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Cherish, well done. As always you amaze me with this poem. I have read it before and aided you a bit, but the final product exceeds all expectations....Very well done.  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
||
|
banburycross Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946viginia |
very cool images in this poem, i enjoyed the read a lot. you did an excellent job writing this, thatnk you for sharing it  Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing. |
||
Marshalzu 
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Nice to see you posting again Cherish I really enjoyed the read... well done.Zu |
||
|
vixengrl04 Member
since 2001-04-26
Posts 495East Haddam, CT |
You did really good with this Cherish, I enjoyed it for sure. ~*Nikki*~ ~*Of all the millions of people in the world, I'm just me.*~ |
||
|
cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
thanx for your comments everyone....  ....be happy to know that it's been well appreciated!! |
||
|
Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
Cherish --- I'm amazed. I didn't know you had it in you. But now I'm stunned. This is amazing. Excellent write my friend ~*standing ovation*~ hi Sweets, Lizzy, Ina, Erin, Erica, Minna, Kit, Kamie, Javi, Jenn, Sharon, Nan, Cawlee, Cherish, Ashley, Sara, Justine, Leah, Jess, Kimmie, Maree, Mic |
||
|
cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
awwwwww hey acire..you dont have to do that now do you..  i was just surprised seeing this back up..and went "who on earth is reading my poetry..they must be crazy!"..hahhaa...well..i was half right wasnt i?..  ...thanks for enjoying it acire..im honoured..trully! |
||
|
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
very cool write |
||
|
Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
This deserves a few more replies... |
||
|
anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
*breaks into uncontrollable sobbing* I missed this!!!  ahem...sorry 'bout that. Cherish!! This is great. The whole theme set around this is excellently written. Be proud. Tell Johnnie Howard! He'll be proud too.  In all seriousness, you should be proud of this piece. Lovin' it. Well done! So in my library. ~AF~ Just because I hear voices doesn't mean I'm crazy...SHUT UP IN THERE!!! |
||
|
keoni Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 850Up in the mountains in the NFC |
This was awesome! Man, this was so good. I liked it so much. IT'S in the library. Jon "Your anger is a gift"-Rage Against The Machine |
||
|
angel_2401 Member
since 2001-06-12
Posts 131Cincinnati, OH |
I really like this one! I hope I get the chance to read more of your poems! I don't have an attitude problem You have a perception problem. |
||
|
cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
thanx you guys!!!!.... .... |
||
|
DarkSilver Junior Member
since 2001-05-21
Posts 33Six O'clock High! |
there is no way you can be the cherish I know so cuz she couldn't write that well, I'm guessing you aren't and leah just knows you for another reason. but the poem was great very effectively tells about the teenage world today. |
||
|
cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
wow...dark!!..there's another cherish out there in the big big world?...awesome!..hehehe..no i think the cherish you and leah know is erm...me...sorry to burst your bubble sweetie..  ...im glad you enjoyed those few seconds it took you to read it.. heheh...i forgot to thank marshal for the bump...*hugs* |
||
|
Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
Wowers, Cherish!! This is AWESOME! I loved this poem. Your words are beautiful. You rock, and this poem rocks. Excellent work! --Marie "Imagine a pageant... |
||
|
cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
*blushes*...thank you marie |
||
|
Postman Pat Junior Member
since 2001-08-05
Posts 23The Great Land DownUnder |
I have no idea what you're going on about here Cheri-bebe. All the poems I've read of yours so far have been really depressing-but I think that this one has topped them all. It sux to know that you're feeling so Sh!tty. I mean you hardly SOUND or LOOK like that when you're at usyd. It makes me wonder what I'm missing. You do know that I'm here for you- you don't need to feel so...so whatever it is that you're feeling that makes you want to write like that. Good poem though-everyone else seemed to enjoy it a lot too! |
||
|
Low Man's Lyric Member
since 2001-04-03
Posts 236In a dream |
Ok you told me that you got this poem published in a magazine because it was good...it isn't just good, ITS AWESOME!!! Lovely job here Cherish, its really really really really terrific  , do you know where I can get a hold of one of those magazines? I wonder if they have that magazine here in Canada? Well any how great job on this poem and I see why it got published.Don't ever compare yourself to others - in most cases they are more messed up than you are! |
||
|
cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
Patty- you dont even come in here anymore!!  ...but yeah i know you're there bud, lol too bad you cant frame the magazine Aaron- thanks you  it aint THAT good but yeah im really glad you liked it- you want me to send you over a copy? S |
||
|
anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Hello  Just though I'd reply to this again considering it was in my library. After reading this about 4 times over I've come to the conclusion that yes, I like it. it's so dark and very unhappy which is always a good thing because happy poetry bites.Take care of yourself and if you lose your arms, don't worry! They'll grow back eventually. ~AF~ Please put waste in a bin |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
