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Teen Poetry #4
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thedarkangel
Member
since 2001-05-12
Posts 74
~*~the cutest~*~

0 posted 2001-05-20 01:50 PM


I cannot right the wrongs in my head
with angels footsteps do I tread,
all the anguish in my life
balances there on the edge of a knife.
Walking along the tightrope of reality
skirting the borders of normality,
knowing I can't complete the race
I dissapear and vanish without a trace.
And though I live in eternal night,
there's one person who can show me the light,
and in thanks for all of this,
i would trade the world for his kiss.


tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial for what it's worth it was worth all the while - Green Day

© Copyright 2001 laura - All Rights Reserved
Dopey Dope
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Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico
1 posted 2001-05-20 01:53 PM


I liked the ending. It was sweet. A poem well done, and I hope to see more!

I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust.

I'm in love with my shadow
I admire it daily

LoveBug
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since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697

2 posted 2001-05-20 02:22 PM


I can really relate to this one. We all know what it feels like to want someone's love this badly, and you describe this amazingly well. Thanks for sharing.

"Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel."-Machiavelli

banburycross
Senior Member
since 2001-03-27
Posts 946
viginia
3 posted 2001-05-20 04:20 PM


i love the ending of this piece, that's a really excellent ling.  wonderful job as usual on this, i liked it lots.  keep sharing your work with us  

Sometimes, the things that go unsaid are the only things worth hearing.

anonymous albert ?
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since 2001-03-23
Posts 2979

4 posted 2001-05-20 11:02 PM


great piece...the ending was awesome...i really enjoyed this alot...thanks for the read... ...?

if i die before i wake , i pray the lord my soul will take-"when thugs cry"

xShUgArHiGhx
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since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150
tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs
5 posted 2001-05-22 07:59 AM


This was excellent and in a way very romantic in my opinion. Great job hun  
Allan Riverwood
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Posts 3502
Winnipeg
6 posted 2001-05-22 06:46 PM


Somehow this read through like a prayer to me... maybe I'm nuts, but if you read it through as though it were a prayer it all seems to fit.
This is a touching dedication, I really enjoyed reading it.  What I mentioned earlier was what struck me most about it.  
~Allan

Build a man a fire, and he's warm for a day.  Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.  
~Unknown

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